‘The L Word’: Shane Does Hair, Bridesmaids

“No, Sergeant, I was only checking her for B.O.!”Photo: Courtesy of Showtime

In the beginning, there was Alice’s chart of L.A. lesbian interconnectivity. This led to the real-life social-networking site ourchart.com, and a story line about a parallel Web start-up. Once The L Word let the meta out, there was no going back. That’s fine — sometimes. The production of the movie Lez Girls, the quasi-fictional account of the posse’s life and loves, offers some not exactly nuanced but definitely funny commentary on how the film industry portrays lesbians. And who didn’t love Pam Grier reverting to her tough, B-movie archetype as she strolled past the prison cells as she visited Helena in the joint? But when The L Word 2.0 stumbles, it does so spectacularly: This week’s take on the screwball wedding felt as forced and predictable as a bride and groom smashing cake into each other’s faces.

Tina goes on a date with a mortgage broker named Denise and proceeds to talk about Bette the whole time. When Tina asks if she wants to meet again, Denise tells her, “I think you have some things to figure out.” Total neg!

Lez Girls financier William Halsey’s little girl is getting married, and Shane is brought in to do the wedding party’s hair. She also does two bridesmaids and the mother of the bride.

Helena gets it on with her monosyllabic cellmate, Dusty, after she saves Helena from being jumped in the shower by a bunch of rejects from Dove’s “Real Beauty” ad campaign.

A slimy film-studio exec demands more sex in Lez Girls, and we get imaginary hookups played out by the show’s characters, including Bette/Bev and Shane/Shaun.

Adele, an obsessive Jenny Schecter fan (like us!), is discovered at the Planet and quickly recruited as J.Schect’s new assistant. Something tells us this will be a bumpy ride.

Tasha and Alice fuss and fight over the military’s investigation into Tasha’s homosexual conduct. We appreciate that this story line takes on government policy and the class divide. But the bickering feels like a low-grade headache on a cross-country flight.

Finally, in her lame attempt to keep a leash on Phyllis, Joyce shows us that you don’t have to be a man to be a pompous pig.
Caryn Brooks

‘The L Word’: Shane Does Hair, Bridesmaids