As you might’ve heard, there’s a little awards show happening this weekend. Who will win? Short answer: Javier Bardem. Long answer: Javier Bardem and a bunch of other people. Sure, there might be a few surprises, but we bet this year’s Oscars will be so predictable that no one will watch (pressure’s off, Jon Stewart!).
Of course, some other stuff happened this week too. Michel Gondry told us how he’d have Sweded Back to the Future, then some bootleggers Sweded him. Jesse L. Martin quit Law & Order, some broken lightbulbs saved Friday Night Lights, and Warner Bros. threatened to dump Spike Jonze just because his cut of Where the Wild Things Are is making children cry (sort of like how NBC’s Knight Rider movie made us cry). Two crazy casting directors hired Black Eyed Peas to star in movies and one very sane studio hired David Yates to make another Harry Potter movie.
When will they make a Mount Rapmore? Probably when Jay-Z gets as old as Paula Abdul. Anyways, enjoy your Oscar party this weekend. We plan on getting drunk with Andrew W.K., having dull, missionary sex with Rainn Wilson, then making Tilda Swinton drive us home. See you Monday!
