First, we found out Neil Patrick Harris might be getting his very own Harold and Kumar spinoff movie! (+100) Then we printed, in full, the text of the dirtiest poem ever (+5), and Mikhail Baryshnikov and Merce Cunningham answered our questions (+10). Jack White announced the details of his new album (+5), which turned out to be not that great (-10). Vulture figured out who your mother is (+5) — turns out it’s Britney Spears (-100). Also, Anthony Minghella died (respectful silence).
Despite her being wonderful, Judy Greer still is not a star (-5). And if you go to the Met, you’ll probably catch the Ebola virus (-3). Dominic Cooper is a total hottie (+5), not that it matters to Snoop Dogg, who has always been a champion for ugly people (+6). Judd Apatow renewed his commitment to wangs (+8), and David Archuleta renewed his commitment to being terrific (+50). We counted down the ten greatest albums made by actors (+10) — all three of them (-10).
At first, we thought Clint Eastwood’s new movie would be about something depressing, like paralysis or boxing (-5), but then we found out it’s actually Dirty Harry 6! (+32) We mathematically measured the quality of Judd Apatow’s upcoming films (+10) and were right on the money about Drillbit Taylor being crappy (-5). Oprah got scared away from Broadway (-10), and Marianne Faithful taught us about “Penis Elbow” (+12). Finally, have you actually watched Anchorman lately? (-100)
Total= 0
