‘Battlestar Galactica’: The Internet Teases — and Spoils — Season Four

Courtesy of Sci Fi

It’s finally here, after lying dormant in the cryogenic freeze that was the writers’ strike: Battlestar Galatica’s season premiere will air this Friday on the Sci Fi Channel. You may have a little trouble remembering what happened all those months ago; if so, you can catch up quickly on Sci Fi’s Website. But what we want to know is what’s going to happen this season. Who’s a Cylon now? What’s up with Starbuck’s Viper? Will they ever find Earth? Who’s gonna DIE?

To find out, we turned to the hive mind of the Internet. Many spoilers, and lots of rampant speculation, after the jump.

The Four New Cylons
In the first episode of the new season, conclusive evidence will be presented that Colonel Saul Tigh, Chief Galen Tyrol, Ensign Samuel Anders, and presidential aide Tory Foster are all definitely, without doubt, Cylons. This will cause some confusion and soul-searching as they decide whether to embrace their Cylon programming or stand by the crew they’ve spent years protecting. And can you imagine how much more complicated the already-tenuous marriage between Anders and Starbuck will be when he inevitably confesses to her in the barracks shower that he’s a robot? Colonel Tigh is allegedly going to have a harder time than most embracing his newly found Cylon-ness, mostly due to having killed his wife last season for sleeping with a Cylon (whoops!).

Now that four of the final five Cylons are onboard Galactica, the Cylon pursuers are going to have qualms with attacking the ship, for fear of accidentally destroying them. The Cylons aren’t sure if the newly revealed Cylon models will resurrect if destroyed.

But that leaves ONE more Cylon: Who will it be?

The Starbuck Mystery
In the final moments of the last season, Starbuck, after being reported dead, flew out of the Ionian Nebula in an undamaged, possibly brand-new, Viper claiming to have been to Earth. President Roslin isn’t so thrilled when she gets back and throws Starbuck in the brig (again!) where Starbuck will have serious self-doubts as to whether she’s a human anymore. Starbuck thinks she’s only been gone a few hours; the crew of Galactica thinks she’s been gone longer, and they don’t like what that implies. Starbuck (and most of the crew) believes that she’s the fifth and final Cylon, but most of the Internet (and Katee Sackhoff) thinks that there’s no way in hell she actually is. As everyone has emphasized repeatedly: Starbuck has a higher purpose in the show than simply being another robot.

Everyone Is Going to Die
No, seriously, check out this clip where Edward James Olmos (Admiral Adama) states around 4:15: “Everyone’s dying in season four.” Actress Grace Park (Sharon Valerii) notes that the show still has around 30,000 hapless souls to shamelessly execute before they start vaporizing main characters. We predict that by the time the season wraps, only the most attractive members of the Battlestar cast will still be kicking when they finally reach Earth and settle into the mundane task of repopulating the human race, saving viewers from confronting the question of which unfortunate soul will be forced to do it with Hot Dog. —Everett Bogue

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‘Battlestar Galactica’: The Internet Teases — and Spoils — Season Four