Grand Theft Auto vs. ‘Iron Man’: Which One Is Stabbier?

Courtesy of Rockstar and Paramount

As everyone knows, the true measure of success for any entertainment product is not first-week sales or degree of critical acclaim, but the number of people who are knifed in line while waiting to pay money for it. By this metric, Grand Theft Auto IV is already well on its way to blockbuster status, as stories flood in about shattered jaws and pepper sprayings occurring in queues for the video game. Discouragingly, yesterday’s account of a London fan being stabbed for a copy is being disputed (sources now claim the victim was stabbed for boring reasons unrelated to digital entertainment), but with excitement still running high, and supply reportedly dwindling, we think it’s quite unlikely we’ll make it to the weekend without at least one GTA IV–related stabbing.

But what of Iron Man–related stabbings? None have been reported so far, though tickets for opening day appear to still be widely available. Once Friday night arrives, however — if Paramount’s marketers have done their jobs (and knife stores haven’t already been overrun by excited GTA fans) — we anticipate at least a few impalings at some sold-out screenings.

Who has the edge? For now, we’re going to give it to Grand Theft Auto IV, if only because it’s easier for stabbers to evade police if they don’t have to watch a two-hour movie (plus previews) before fleeing the scene.

GTA stabbing “nothing to do with GTA” [Games Radar]
Cops: ‘Grand Theft Auto’ Thief Arrested [NBC San Diego]

Grand Theft Auto vs. ‘Iron Man’: Which One Is Stabbier?