the early-evening news

Miley Cyrus to Sink Every One of Her Fifteen Years of Life Experience Into Memoir

Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures

Miley Cyrus Makes Memoir Deal: Disney acquires a memoir “by” 15-year-old Miley Cyrus for publication next year. Scoff all you want about the inflated advance: We guarantee this book will make money. [Us]

Cannes Announced: Which American movies will lose at Cannes to some masterpiece from the Philippines that’ll never get released here? Soderbergh’s two Che Guevera biopics, plus Clint Eastwood’s Changeling. We’re particularly excited that Kelly Reichardt’s follow-up to Old Joy made Un Certain Regard. [Variety]

Blair Witch 2: Taliban Version?: Daniel Myrick, one of the directors of The Blair Witch Project, is finally back with The Objective, a horror movie about post-9/11 Afghanistan. We are among the few people we know who will still go to the mats to defend Blair Witch as a bolt-of-lightning work of genius, but does this sound unbelievably awful or what? It’s playing at Tribeca. [SpoutBlog]

Take the Uwe Boll Challenge: Occasional Vulture contributor and Criterion Contraption writer Matthew Dessem has launched the Uwe Boll Challenge, in which competitors must make films according to Boll’s derisive instructions: with a bottle of ketchup and your little brother. Entries are due May 16. [Official site]

Art-Fair or Comic-Con Attendee?: Take this quiz to see if you can separate the art nerds from the comics nerds. Highlight: How many people believe Jocelyn Wildenstein to be some kind of crazy cosplayer. [Art Fag City]

Atari Games Get Remixed: We remember our 8-year-old self happily playing game after game of Old-Timey Cop With a Stick. If you click on anything in this link roundup, click on this. [ via Defamer]

Miley Cyrus to Sink Every One of Her Fifteen Years of Life Experience Into Memoir