apropos of nothing

Uwe Boll Will Quit Making Movies If One Million People Ask Him To

Photo: Getty Images

On Friday, hapless German auteur Uwe Boll, director of such critically unloved, money-losing video-game adaptations as Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne II: Deliverance, and recent epic In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, gave an interview to horror-movie Website FEARnet in which he was asked about this online petition to get him to retire from filmmaking, which, at the time, boasted around 18,000 signatures. “18,000 is not enough to convince me,” said Boll. How many would it take? “One million,” he answered.

And with that, the Internet bolted into action; Boll haters at Cinematical and /Film rallied their troops and by yesterday afternoon digg users had taken up the cause. As of this morning, the petition has been signed by nearly 40,000 people, approximately 100 times the number who saw A Dungeon Siege Tale in movie theaters.

It’s important to note, though, that Boll still has six movies in various stages of production, plus another one, Postal, opening in a month. By the time the petition hits a million signatures (likely by midweek), he’ll probably have started work on a dozen or so more. If this noble crusade really does bring about his retirement, we still won’t enjoy the fruits of his non-labor for at least half a decade, long after the release of 2010’s Zombie Massacre, which actually sounds sort of awesome. Why can’t the pointless, nonsensical Internet campaigns that become insanely popular ever be for practical things, like saving Cavemen, for example?

Exclusive: FEARnet Interviews Director Uwe Boll!!! [FEARnet]
Stop Dr. Uwe Boll [PetitionOnline]

Earlier: Uwe Boll vs. Steven Spielberg
Uwe Boll’s ‘In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale’ Is the Movie of the Year

Uwe Boll Will Quit Making Movies If One Million People Ask Him To