Photos: Lane Brown
Everyone knows you can steal police cars, kill prostitutes, and fire bazookas into pedestrian traffic in the new Grand Theft Auto game. But, since you’re reading our blog, the question likely on your mind is, “Can I also patronize the arts?” Happily, friends, the answer is yes: GTA IV’s Liberty City offers a host of entertainment options, from opera and museums to live theater and independent film. Look, up there! It’s the Metropolitan Opera House! (Never mind the crashed helicopter in the fountain.) Why not buy a ticket and see if Juan Diego Florez can break the law against solo encores and escape before the cops get him?
Or visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art! It’s exactly like the real Met, with the added convenience of fewer parking restrictions.
Enjoy live music? There’s a fake Radio City Music Hall! The doors don’t actually open, so there’s little danger of wandering in and accidentally seeing a Christmas Spectacular.
What’s playing on Liberty City’s Broadway? Swinging Puppets (evidently about marionettes engaging in group sex) and Shakespeare on Drugs, which is either about the Bard’s drug intake or it’s Hamlet performed by actors on Psilocybins (we’d go see either!).
There are also a multitude of Off Broadway options. We actually find Banging Trash Can Lids for an Hour preferable to Stomp, if only because in Stomp they bang on trash can lids for an hour and a half.
We hear Patti LuPone is fantastic in this.
Also, there’s this.
Related: Why Critics Want Grand Theft Auto IV to Be the ‘Godfather’ of Video Games
Rockstar Games’ Dan Houser on Grand Theft Auto IV and Digitally Degentrifying New York