apropos of nothing

R. Kelly’s Mystery Witness Identified!

Photo: chicagotribune.com

More absurdly entertaining news from R. Kelly’s gravely serious child-pornography trial: The identity of the surprise witness has been revealed! Damon Pryor (at left) is believed to be the ex-boyfriend of Lisa Van Allen, the woman who’d been set to testify yesterday that she participated in a threesome with Kelly and his alleged underage victim. Pryor, the defense claims, will somehow be able to debunk her testimony — if he’s allowed to take the stand, that is! According to the Chicago Sun-Times’ Kelly Chronicles blog, Pryor is refusing to give the prosecution his Social Security number, without which lawyers have no way of verifying if he’s really who he claims.

How can any of this possibly get more ridiculous? Try singing the preceding paragraph out loud while listening to this:

Mystery witness refuses to give his social security number [Kelly Chronicles/Chicago Sun-Times]
Court ends abruptly Wednesday due to surprise defense witness [EURweb]

Earlier: Who Is R. Kelly’s Surprise Witness?

R. Kelly’s Mystery Witness Identified!