Will ‘Speed Racer’ Fail With Flying Colors?

SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Staring directly into this publicity photo may cause dementia, complicate pregnancy.Courtesy of Warner Bros.

Bad news for Wachowski siblings of whichever gender they happen to be currently: This weekend’s Speed Racer, the retina-searing CGI cartoon that New York’s David Edelstein likens to “a nightmare in which you’re trapped in an arcade with screens on all sides and no eyelids,” is tracking poorly, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The film, which stars several bright colors (plus John Goodman), is only expected to make $25 million to $35 million and land in second place behind Iron Man.

To what can we attribute this disappointing pre-failure? Is it the fact that so much of the movie’s target demo is currently institutionalized, shackled by straitjackets limiting their access to Fandango? Or that the simple act of watching the trailer on YouTube hypnotized everyone we know into buying a copy of Catcher in the Rye and climbing a water tower? Is the PG rating scaring off those who’d planned to see it under the influence of peyote? Good, because that’ll make it a lot easier for us to run through the aisles raving in a made-up language when we see it on Imax on Friday night.

’Speed Racer’ tracking unimpressively [HR]
No, Speed Racer, No [NYM]

Will ‘Speed Racer’ Fail With Flying Colors?