apropos of nothing

His Defense Rests, But R. Kelly Never Does

Photo: Getty Images

Well that was fast! After just two days of expert testimony on the ease with which an enterprising hater could’ve used CGI to insert R. Kelly’s image into a sex tape, the defense rested its case in his child-pornography trial yesterday. Last week, forensic-video analyst Charles Palm showed the jury a digitally altered clip from the tape at the center of the case, illustrating just how simple it would be to replace the heads on the copulating bodies (if we ever figure out what software he used, you can expect this blog to get a lot funnier). The prosecution plans to call two rebuttal witnesses tomorrow — neither of whom are likely to find any fault with this completely unassailable defense — then closing arguments come on Thursday, shortly after which Kelly will either be acquitted and free to continue composing his wonderful music, or he’ll be convicted and deservedly thrown in the clink for many, many years.

So how does one celebrate entering the home stretch of his child-pornography trial? If you’re tireless R&B auteur R. Kelly, you release a new track from your highly anticipated upcoming album, 12 Play: Fourth Quarter (purportedly due in July, no matter what the jury decides). “Body Body” hit the Internet yesterday, and it’s (predictably) excellent and (predictably) all about raunchy sex at a club. Can nothing stop this man from delivering? We guess we’ll find out after they read the verdict!

Defense rests in R. Kelly case [Kelly Chronicles/ Chicago Sun-Times]
New music from Kelly — could he rebound? [The Kelly Chronicles/ Chicago Sun-Times]
R Kelly, “Body Body” [Fader]

His Defense Rests, But R. Kelly Never Does