Pilot Preview: CBS’ ‘The Eleventh Hour’ Will Blind You With Science

Title: The Eleventh Hour

Stars: Rufus Sewell (John Adams, Tristan + Isolde) and Marley Shelton (Grindhouse)

Network: CBS, Thursdays at 10 p.m.

The pitch: Dark, sexy scientist is a secret government crime-solving machine. A blonde, sexy gun-wielding machine is his bodyguard.

Pilot report: Dr. Hood (Rufus Sewell) is summoned to Washington state to solve the mystery of nineteen cloned fetuses. His hot bodyguard, while mulling over the relevance of code name “Jepetto,” leads Dr. Hood to search for a rich man (Michael O’Keefe, Danny from Caddyshack) trying to clone his dead son. Hot bodyguard can barely remember to unpack her pistol during an on-duty romp, but she can deftly kick another woman’s ass in a fistfight. Dr. Hood has a dead wife, and that brings humanity to his cold, Spocky logic.

Representative dialogue: So much to choose from! “Dr. Hood is a high-priority asset. He’s a brilliant biophysicist, but he spends most of his time in his head. That’s why I have to watch his back.” “In science, a negative result is just as important as a positive one.” “She’s not an experiment. She’s a human being.” “Playing God has its disadvantages.”

Breakout star: Science!

Worth a season pass? It would be if we were watching the British version, which starred Patrick Stewart and was written by Dr. Who vet Stephen Gallagher. Jerry Bruckheimer managed to make his take look and sound like CSI, except instead of creepy know-it-all scientists, there’s a creepy know-it-all scientist and a hot chick who will love you and then kick your ass. —Aileen Gallagher