quote machine

Stephen Colbert Gives the Class of 2008 the Only Advice It Will Ever Need

Photo: Getty Images

“When you leave here, no one will ever, ever want to hear you sing a capella.” Stephen Colbert to graduates of Princeton University [AP via Yahoo]

“It’s not that I’m all that bad … I just think that people had this idea that I sat at home and sucked on lollipops and ate cotton candy while I watched cartoons — wearing a tiara.” —Anne Hathaway [Parade]

“The Arab-American actors that were cast, it was hilarious how grateful they were that they weren’t playing terrorists. One of the guys, Sayed [Badreya], he’s a main bad guy in Iron Man, and he was one of the people who was like, ‘Thank God! I’m playing a cab driver this time! I’m so tired of playing a terrorist. Cab driver! What a step up!’” Robert Smigel on You Don’t Mess With the Zohan [A.V. Club]

“We were in that café — um, for coffee. And, um, it was on TV and we’re like, ‘Oh, bowling’s on!’ And then, like, an hour later we were like, ‘Look at the way they’re squatting!’” Josh Groban remembers that one time when he got totally high in Amsterdam [Details]

“Some people call that the Incest Song, which I think is, well, very sweet!” Nancy Sinatra on “Somethin’ Stupid” [Guardian]

“We were at home in the kitchen and we had the TV going, and when the word came down suddenly Brad got on his knees in front of me. And I said, ‘What are you doing?’ He said, ‘George, will you marry me?’ I said ‘Yes. You beat me to it. I meant to ask you.’” George Takei is unclear who the top is in his relationship [People]

Stephen Colbert Gives the Class of 2008 the Only Advice It Will Ever Need