Things Suddenly Not Looking Quite So Terrible for R. Kelly
Finally some encouraging news for those hoping R. Kelly, the possibly evil accused child pornographer, gets acquitted so R. Kelly, the Grammy-winning R&B auteur, can get back to work on the remaining 400 chapters of Trapped in the Closet: Yesterday, three relatives of Kelly’s alleged victim testified that isn’t her in the video that prosecutors claim shows him engaged in sexual acts with an underage girl. “No. It definitely wasn’t her,” said 27-year-old Shonna Edwards. “Not even close.” She also said she didn’t recognize Kelly in the tape, even though she’d met him “countless times.” Additionally, a law clerk for the defense took the stand and claimed that Yul Brown, fiancé to Lisa Van Allen, the prosecution’s star witness who says she partook in threesomes with Kelly and the alleged victim, met with Kelly’s attorneys and sought a $350,000 payoff for which Van Allen had agreed to change her testimony.
Admittedly, we’re fans of Kelly’s music, but if he’s guilty then obviously he should go to prison for as long as Chicago’s penal system can hold him. So, given that the prosecution’s had six years to build their case, couldn’t they have found a better star witness?