You Are Now Entering the Season of the Jonas

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In case you haven’t been paying attention (despite our repeated warnings!), teen-pop juggernauts the Jonas Brothers have slowly been laying the groundwork for a hostile (but tuneful!) takeover of planet Earth, and this week begins their first major campaign, reports today’s New York Times. On Friday, they’ll rally their armies with their latest propaganda film, Camp Rock, premiering on the Disney Channel at the revolution-friendly time of 8 p.m. Next, they’ll launch a 46-date summer tour of North America (footage of which will be shot for their forthcoming 3-D concert movie), release their third album A Little Bit Longer on August 12, and then begin shooting their own television show, J.O.N.A.S., a “comedy-adventure spy series” (while stealing nuclear secrets under the guise of being actors on a scripted TV program, presumably). At this point, any resistance is inadvisable, as their absolute victory, and subsequent enslavement of all humanity, is now certainly inevitable. But will it be enough for the Jonases? “I think we live our lives the best we can,” Kevin Jonas tells the Times, ominously. “We’ve grown up with the idea that even when you’re at the top, act like you’re at the bottom.” They will crush you.

Summer Advisory: A Jonas Front Looms [NYT]

Earlier: Know Your Jonas Brothers Overlords

You Are Now Entering the Season of the Jonas