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The Twelve Labors of Peter Berg

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Her-cuh-lees! Her-cuh-lees! Her-cuh-lees!: As though someone other than Will Smith can take credit for a Fourth of July blockbuster, Hancock’s Peter Berg is parlaying his buzz into a deal with Universal to produce and direct a take on Hercules — fully and obtusely titled Hercules: The Thracian Wars. The script will be based on Steve Moore’s five-issue comic from Radical Publishing and promises to prominently feature two opposing armies rushing at each other in the trailer. [Variety]

Three Head to the City: Julianna Margulies, Emily Mortimer, and Alan Arkin have joined Andy Garcia in City Island, the story of a Bronx prison official who realizes that an inmate is his secret love child. “His efforts to become his guardian lead to comic complications.” What, the logline already belittles the concept? Our work here is done. [HR]

The Search for More Money: The hardest working man in 3-D show business, Jeffrey Katzenberg, says that George Lucas is keen to repurpose his entire six-film Star Wars franchise into 3-D. Sigh. At least now we can watch Greedo awkwardly shoot first with proper depth perception. [Comingsoon]

Nightmare on Strick Street: New Line Cinema Warner Bros.’ New Line division has hired scary writer Wesley Strick (Cape Fear, Doom) to write the next installment of its scary Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. Will it be a slapstick comedy? we ask The Hollywood Reporter. “The plan is to have a dark tone.” Well, at least Robert Englund gets paid and can stop eating peanut-butter sandwiches. [HR]

Becker Steals Time: Astrophysicists are at a loss to explain Columbia’s decision to hire Walt Becker to direct the time-travel adventure Stealing Time, the story of three generations of men who search for the mythical device that makes time travel possible (the Flux Capacitor). When reached for comment, one physicist said, “What a bag of dicks — seriously, Wild Hogs isn’t even good.” The debate rages on in the scientific community: Is it his piercing brown eyes? His chiseled jaw? Why is Walt Becker still working?! [Variety]

The Twelve Labors of Peter Berg