It probably goes without saying that Howard Stern’s forthcoming remake of 1979’s Rock ’n’ Roll High School, announced this morning, is a terrible idea. We’re happy to say it anyway, though: Howard Stern’s upcoming Rock ’n’ Roll High School remake is a terrible idea. As we noted in today’s Industry post, the original was, at the same time, the greatest and most idiotic movie in history. In it, a group of students conspire with the Ramones (who, themselves, were the world’s dumbest and best band) to get revenge on their rock-hating principal by blowing up the school (this was back in the seventies, long before the advent of plausibility or responsible filmmaking). It was a stupid — and awesome — movie that would’ve been completely forgettable had it not been for Roger Corman’s ingenious decision to cast the Ramones.
But who are the Ramones of 2008? What contemporary band is capable of inspiring today’s cynical, careerist, AP-credit-seeking teenagers to do something with their lives — like shirk their educational responsibilities, scrap their futures, and risk life in prison by demolishing their school with deadly, hard-to-obtain explosives? And is there a group around that’s unserious, universally beloved, and stupidly charming enough to pull it off without just making everyone uncomfortable? The Flaming Lips, maybe? We don’t think such a band exists. (Yes, we know they’ll probably just get Green Day.)