Nastia Liukin and Mario Cantone to Star in Worst Movie Ever

Liukin Chalks It Up: The end of the Olympics made us worried we might never again see charming but unpleasantly named U.S. gold medalist Nastia Liukin. We’d weep openly, but producer Jasper Jan has tapped the flexible cutie to star in Chalk It Up alongside “comedian” Mario Cantone. In other words, it’s going straight to DVD. As August, National Slow News Day Month, groans to a close, this is what passes for news. [Film School Rejects]
Update: Liukin’s publicist emails, “Her agent received a call and they sent him a script, that is it.”

Ken and Barbie, Toys: Jodi Benson, the voice of The Little Mermaid’s Ariel, revealed to IESB that she’s voicing the part of a Barbie doll in Pixar’s Toy Story 3. Ken will also figure into the story, voiced by none other than Michael Keaton. Speculation abounds among tween girls about whether he’ll have plastic junk or plastic underpants that don’t come off. [IESB]

For Whom the Bell Tolls: In other animated news, nerd bait Kristen Bell will voice the lead girl character in Warner Bros.’ CG feature adaptation of Astro Boy, the coming-of-age story about a robot boy with rocket feet who fights tons of dudes so his dad will love him. In the meantime, barring any more Harvey Weinstein release-date whims, it looks like you might actually get to see Bell in September’s Fanboys. [Variety]

Three Get Demoted: Sean Astin, Junebug’s Celia Weston, and Sara Foster have joined the indie comedy Demoted, the story of two tire salesmen (Astin and Michael Vartan) who play tricks on their co-worker (David Cross) until he becomes their boss. He then assigns them secretarial jobs, so they do the only thing they know how: trick him some more! Foster will play Astin’s wife, “who’s tricked into believing he was promoted.” For the record, no one’s tricking us into seeing this movie. [HR]

Is There a Doctor in the Theater?: Steven Moffat, the new show runner of BBC’s Doctor Who, is “keen to see the Saturday evening show made into a feature film.” It’s about time; we’re sick of watching Casper the Friendly Dalek on YouTube. [HR]