the industry

Yippee-Ki-Yay, Mother Director

Willis to Live Free, Direct Hard: Bruce Willis is set to make his directorial debut on Three Stories About Joan, a psychological thriller that interweaves three time periods in one woman’s life and focuses on her relationship with her father (Willis). Maybe he’ll be the next Clint Eastwood behind the camera; then again, we’ve never heard anyone say, “Bruce Willis dazzled me with his story by credit on Hudson Hawk.” [Film Catalogue, Shreveport Times via Film Junk]

The Way of the Hoff: Get excited, Internet. It’s been confirmed that David Hasselhoff will star in Beverly Hills Ninja 2, written and directed by the original’s Mitchell Klebenoff. A fat ninja movie without the fat ninja? It’s not like this sequel has any integrity to begin with, so is it too much to ask for at least a musical number? Sigh … somewhere in Heaven, Chris Farley is confused. And doing blow off an angel’s ass. [/Film]

Kidman Makes Us Wonder: Nicole Kidman is set to star in The Eighth Wonder, an action-adventure pitch that Fox just picked up from Jumper’s Simon Kinberg. Story is described as a modern, gritty version of Raiders of the Lost Ark, as the Bourne movies are to James Bond. While she’s out in the desert digging holes, can somebody ask her to bury all our memories of Bewitched? [HR]

Audrina Joins Sorority: Our favorite vacuous genius savant on The Hills, Audrina Patridge, is set to join Samurai Girl’s Jamie Chung and Carrie Fisher in Summit’s remake of The House on Sorority Row. Story begins when a prank goes wrong, a sorority girl dies, and her sisters try to cover up the death only to be stalked by a serial killer. We want to see the version starring all our friends on The Hills. As L.C. watches her intestines spill across the bathroom floor, she looks up and realizes… “Justin Bobby! You’re the killer?” Justin Bobby: “Yeah. No. I guess. Whatever.” [HR]

Who Wants Beer Pong?: All you Todd Philips fanboys — all six of you — get ready to tap your kegs and chug because Road Trip 2: Beer Pong has begun casting, which means it’s coming soon to a DVD player near you. Story follows a guy who ditches his back-home girlfriend for a beer-pong model, which sounds fine until you start wondering what the heck is a beer-pong model? Paramount, grinning with twenty gold teeth, has the answer: “Buy the movie and find out!” [Moviehole]

Yippee-Ki-Yay, Mother Director