Californication: Hank Back on the Slutmobile


Season 2 Episode 5

Dumped by Karen, Hank hooks up with a hot mess of a TV chef (Dawson’s Creek’s Meredith Monroe). Charlie becomes Daisy’s agent but needs to bankroll a porno flick to get the producer (Dawson’s Creek’s Hal Ozsan) to cast her. Inspired by the movie’s — and episode five’s — title, we try to find an excuse to say, “Forget it, Hank, it’s Vaginatown.”

Hank’s not taking the breakup very well. His convertible is filthy, he stinks of vodka, and he tries to pick up Becca at school on the wrong day because he has no idea what day it is. But Karen is a good sport: She lets Hank take Becca out for ice cream. Because who wouldn’t let the kid drive off with her vodka-slopped dad? We’ll see if Marcy can be as supportive now that she knows that Charlie has sunk $100,000 of his savings into Vaginatown, impressed as he was by “the wall of cock sequence alone”; at least he’ll stop trying to help out at her waxing joint.

There’s only one solution to Hank’s emotional pain: sex, ideally quick sex with a stranger. Luckily, Hank’s new landlord, Ashby, has a line on that. He invites celebrity chef Chloe Metz to the mansion to bonk Hank, which she does, immediately, because evidently in L.A. you can order TV hosts the way New Yorkers order food. She likes chocolate sauce — and Hank. And complete chaos. When the trio goes for a ride later, she also likes Ashby’s female driver a little too much, and the driver quite literally kicks her to the curb. Hank, always the gentleman, gets out of the car and waits with her by the side of the highway for her forgiving husband to pick her up, while they enjoy an awkward conversation about how Hank doesn’t want his daughter to end up slutty like her. It’s touching.

Alone, Hank looks out over the city. He tries to call Becca, but Karen tells him she’s out on a date, if not a slutty one. Unbeknownst to Hank, Karen’s painting a family portrait, letting us know that their inability to let each other go will remain an active plotline.

Californication: Hank Back on the Slutmobile