quote machine

Lil Wayne Speculates on Brett Favre’s Age

“He must know God’s phone number, ‘cause he is superhuman. Like, Brett Farve? Come on. He’s like 3900 years old and he threw for six touchdowns?” Lil’ Wayne [ESPN]

“CBS’ decision to hide behind excuses that the incident was ‘fleeting’ and didn’t generate an immediate flood of complaints is the epitome of irresponsibly [sic]. The number of ‘fleeting’ penises we expect to see on broadcast television is zero.” —a statement from The Parents Television Council on the Survivor penis flap [Broadcasting & Cable]

“In the original, the kids actually recruited their mom to front the band, which I can’t see happening in any family on this planet. The new version will reflect what seems to me to be the more realistic family band scenario these days: a struggling, sort of well-meaning mom pimping her kids in order to create a wholesome-slash-sexy cash cow.” Jeff Rake on his updated Partridge Family [HR]

“He’s one of the fat people in LA, yes.” Simon Pegg on Ricky Gervais [Telegraph]

“I just wish that the people who think like us would stop ceding the moral high ground to the people who drink the space god’s blood on Sunday!” Bill Maher [A.V. Club]

“My standard answer, when people ask me, ‘How are you, Pete?’ I say, ‘If I could remember, I’d tell you.’” Pete Seeger [NYP]

Lil Wayne Speculates on Brett Favre’s Age