Following discouraging reports earlier this week that Tom Cruise’s upcoming madcap Nazi adventure, Valkyrie, is a “character-driven suspense thriller” that’s actually “pretty good” comes hope in the form of an anonymously sourced online review! “You almost start to laugh,” a “source” tells the Scoop’s Courtney Hazlett. “His character is resisting it but you never forget it’s Tom Cruise saying ‘Heil Hitler.’ It’s funny and shocking at the same time.” Also potentially hilarious: a scene in which Nazi Tom Cruise removes his glass eye. “It was disgusting. It was like watching someone pluck their contacts out.” “The film just isn’t a thriller at all … It’s a bunch of white guys in Nazi uniforms,” according to another person who’s seen it. “And Tom doesn’t speak with a German accent — though they did add a voiceover of him speaking German to the beginning of the film … This is not his Oscar moment.” Count us officially excited!