With torture porn no longer the surefire draw that it once was and moviegoers increasingly poor and unwilling to leave their homes, what are the producers of low-budget horror films to do? Where is the next frontier in cinematically coerced pants-shitting? Since they’re already heavily invested in it, Lionsgate is hoping it’s 3-D! The Times reports this morning on the studio’s My Bloody Valentine 3D, the first three-dimensional horror movie to get a theatrical release in the U.S. in more than 20 years, which will play on 900 specially equipped screens on January 16. The film follows a group of survivors fleeing from a pickax-wielding maniac, though Lionsgate insists the 3-D effects will be used only to “enhance the story” and not as a gimmick (having seen the pickax-throwing trailer ourselves, we are dubious). Even so, the only way we can imagine this not being a huge success is if the people on the left-hand side of the above publicity photo sue Lionsgate for burning their faces off.