Vulture’s Complete Field Guide to the Facial Expressions of Keanu Reeves
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Vulture’s Complete Field Guide to the Facial Expressions of Keanu Reeves

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Emotion: Baseline Keanu-ness
Year depicted: 2003
Habitat: The Matrix Revolutions
Field notes: The purest, most basic facial expression of Keanu, aided by wraparound sunglasses.
Kean-u-meter: 0

All images courtesy of respective studios.

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Emotion: Horror, revulsion
Year depicted: 1992
Habitat: Bram Stoker's Dracula
Field notes: Keanu has just watched three vampires devour a baby.
Kean-u-meter: 10. This is the highest rating ever achieved on the Kean-u-meter, and is offered as an example of the acting heights Keanu can reach.

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Emotion: Alienation
Year depicted: 2008
Habitat: The Day the Earth Stood Still
Field notes: Keanu is a literal alien.
Kean-u-meter: 1

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Emotion: Serenity
Year depicted: 1993
Habitat: Little Buddha
Field notes: Keanu is Siddhartha.
Kean-u-meter: 1

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Emotion: Confusion
Year depicted: 2001
Habitat: Sweet November
Field notes: A classic Keanu expression, and one that can be found in nearly every Keanu habitat.
Kean-u-meter: 1

6 of 29
Emotion: Annoyance
Year depicted: 1986
Habitat: River's Edge
Field notes: Keanu's impassive face excels at covering up lies, as when he plays a character who isn't telling his mother about a dead body.
Kean-u-meter: 1

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Emotion: Unconsciousness
Year depicted: 2003
Habitat: The Matrix Reloaded
Field notes: Keanu is in the Matrix.
Kean-u-meter: 1

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Emotion: Concern
Year depicted: 1991
Habitat: My Own Private Idaho
Field notes: "When will my friend awaken?" wonders Keanu.
Kean-u-meter: 1

9 of 29
Emotion: Thoughtfulness
Year depicted: 1995
Habitat: Johnny Mnemonic
Field notes: The futuristic headgear gives this facial expression a certain poignancy it might otherwise lack.
Kean-u-meter: 1

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Emotion: Pensiveness
Year depicted: 2001
Habitat: Hardball
Field notes: Notice the slight tilt of the head, which distinguishes this from Thoughtfulness.
Kean-u-meter: 2

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Emotion: Sympathy
Year depicted: 2005
Habitat: Thumbsucker
Field notes: Keanu is reaching out to a troubled teenage boy.
Kean-u-meter: 2

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Emotion: Mild consternation
Year depicted: 1996
Habitat: Chain Reaction
Field notes: Keanu is watching a physics experiment go awry. (We're pretty sure his eyes are really wide behind the goggles.)
Kean-u-meter: 2

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Emotion: Animated
Year depicted: 2006
Habitat: A Scanner Darkly
Field notes: The slight droop of Keanu's left eye is more apparent in this habitat than in any other.
Kean-u-meter: 2

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Emotion: Overwhelming joy
Year depicted: 2006
Habitat: The Lake House
Field notes: Keanu has just narrowly escaped death to find the woman he loves after two years of searching.
Kean-u-meter: 3

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Emotion: Tortured ecstasy
Year depicted: 1992
Habitat: Bram Stoker's Dracula
Field notes: Keanu is basically receiving a blow job from a topless female vampire.
Kean-u-meter: 3

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Emotion: Awe
Year depicted: 1999
Habitat: The Matrix
Field notes: Keanu is saying, "Whoa."
Kean-u-meter: 3

17 of 29
Emotion: Flirting
Year depicted: 2003
Habitat: Something's Gotta Give
Field notes: Keanu has just met his favorite playwright.
Kean-u-meter: 3

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Emotion: Scheming
Year depicted: 1993
Habitat: Much Ado About Nothing
Field notes: Simply adding facial hair to Keanu can increase his Kean-u-meter by one to two points.
Kean-u-meter: 3

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Emotion: Love
Year depicted: 1995
Habitat: A Walk in the Clouds
Field notes: Keanu is talking to his beloved wife.
Kean-u-meter: 3

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Emotion: Exhilaration
Year depicted: 1991
Habitat: Point Break
Field notes: A rare sighting of the flighted Keanu.
Kean-u-meter: 3

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Emotion: Gratitude
Year depicted: 2000
Habitat: The Replacements
Field notes: Keanu has just been offered a ride by a hot NFL cheerleader.
Kean-u-meter: 4

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Emotion: Fear
Year depicted: 1989
Habitat: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Field notes: A group of medieval knights are seconds away from killing Keanu.
Kean-u-meter: 4

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Emotion: Aggression
Year depicted: 2000
Habitat: The Gift
Field notes: Keanu is threatening small children. Once again, facial hair adds to the Kean-u-meter score.
Kean-u-meter: 4

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Emotion: Lust
Year depicted: 1989
Habitat: Parenthood
Field notes: Clearly, Keanu is overwhelmed by his own sexiness.
Kean-u-meter: 5

25 of 29
Emotion: Mild anger
Year depicted: 2008
Habitat: Street Kings
Field notes: Keanu just learned his boss is behind it all.
Kean-u-meter: 5

26 of 29
Emotion: Severe anger
Year depicted: 1994
Habitat: Speed
Field notes: The bus burning behind Keanu was driven by his friend.
Kean-u-meter: 6

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Emotion: Determination
Year depicted: 2005
Habitat: Constantine
Field notes: Keanu is about to punch a demon while wearing brass knuckles.
Kean-u-meter: 6

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Emotion: Triumph
Year depicted: 1991
Habitat: Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
Field notes: Surprisingly, this lively facial expression is exhibited by Keanu while portraying a murderous robot.
Kean-u-meter: 7

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Emotion: Infernal rage
Year depicted: 1997
Habitat: The Devil's Advocate
Field notes: Satan himself, enraged that his protege, Keanu, has shot himself in the head, adopts Keanu's form and screams at the sky while bearing wings made of fire.
Kean-u-meter: 9. Unlikely to be surpassed anytime soon.


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