trailer mix

Jessica Biel Drops Trou in Powder Blue

Ann Lislegaard’s Crystal World (2006).

Tagline: (Um, this trailer doesn’t contain any actual words*.)

Translation: Who needs words when Jessica Biel is writhing about while barely clothed?

The Verdict: This voice-over-free, largely impressionistic trailer for Powder Blue doesn’t go far in the way of, you know, actually telling you what the movie is about. However, Vulture has a feeling that most of the people who end up watching this film will be doing so in the privacy of their own homes in either fast-forward or slow-motion (depending on the scene, natch). Because ever since word broke way back in August 2007 that the film’s producers (among whom is horny Oscar winner Forest Whitaker) ensured that Jessica Biel was contractually obligated to show “shots of her breasts (nipples from the front and side) and her butt (side view only),” fanboys have been anxiously counting down the days until this film’s release. However, for you cinephiles who aren’t solely interested in seeing Justin Timberlake’s main squeeze sans clothes, we understand Powder Blue to be a Crash-like melodrama with a plot that features strip-club owners, morticians, and suicidal ex-priests intermingling in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve. Oh, and there’s also this little morsel for you to snack on: “Newcomer Alejandro Romero will play a transsexual prostitute who shares an unexpected bond with the priest.” Alrighty then! Factor in the fact that the trailer also shows people doing blow, Ray Liotta making it rain in a strip club, someone shooting hoops during a torrential downpour, and Biel dripping wax on herself and you’ve got yourself all the makings of a holiday movie for the ages!

*Yes, we realize there is one context-free sentence spoken at the very end of the trailer, but just go with us on this one, ok?

Jessica Biel Drops Trou in Powder Blue