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Daniel Craig and Jamie Bell Hop Aboard the Tintin Train

Tintin Is Go: The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn, the Steven Spielberg–directed first installment in the planned trilogy, has its principal cast: Jamie Bell will play the titular reporter (presumably he will be sticking around for Peter Jackson’s second film), and Daniel Craig (as Red Rackham) will join the previously announced Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Surely the only person who could be disappointed with that cast is former New York Knick Keith Van Horn, who didn’t even get a callback, despite proudly rocking the Tintin do for years. [Variety]

From Damita Jo to Samson: Warner Bros. has emerged victorious in a three-way studio battle for the rights to an updated telling of the story of Samson, that one guy from the Bible with really long hair, to be directed by Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend, From Janet. To Damita Jo: the Videos) and scripted by Scott Silver (8 Mile). Producers supposedly aren’t too worried about the adaptation process, considering Samson already had great abs. [Variety]

The Funk of 40,000 Years: Michael Jackson himself has been enlisted to work on the Nederland Organization’s stage adaptation of “Thriller.” The eventual musical will be based on the fourteen-minute video for the song and will feature songs from the landmark album of the same name as well as Off the Wall, although it is not yet clear where or when it will be staged. Budget estimations are still in the works, but most of the money has already been allotted to acquiring surgical masks for everybody. [Billboard]

Fraser in the Forest: Brendan Fraser will star in the live-action comedy Furry Vengeance as a real-estate developer doing battle against adorable forest creatures when his new development encroaches upon their housing. Sounds fine, but we’d like the next studio considering casting Fraser in yet another family-friendly flick to think long and hard about it: Do we really want to raise a generation of children who will grow up to worship Brendan Fraser as a demigod? [Variety]

T.O. on VH1: Emotional wide receiver Terrell Owens has done the inevitable and landed his own reality-TV show on VH1; the show will follow Owens as he goes about his daily life. T.O. should have plenty of time to shoot the show during the NFL playoffs, during which the Cowboys now traditionally rest after a game or skip it altogether. Ooh, that one probably burns for all you Cowboys superfans who also like to read movie-deal news! [Variety]

Duff Days: Alongside Kevin Zegers, Hilary Duff will star in The Story of Bonnie and Clyde, directed and written by Tonya S. Holly. Reports are careful to point out that this is a new telling of the real-life story — inspired by old newspaper reports of the crime duo Holly found in an abandoned house her family owned — and not an adaptation of cinematic treasure Bonnie and Clyde. It’s as if the producers are going out of their way to warn audiences that they’re not desecrating anything. At least, not technically. [Variety]

Daniel Craig and Jamie Bell Hop Aboard the Tintin Train