Like everyone else who woke up and checked their Twitter feeds this morning, we were amused and somewhat surprised to discover that our TweetDeck was chock-full of nothing but Courtney Love. As longtime fans of the eccentric Stevie Nicks disciple, we had been anxious to see how she would tailor her patented long-form stream-of-consciousness rants that she used to post on her MySpace page to fit Twitter’s strict 140-character limit. Well, as it turns out, she hasn’t. And because Twitter reads in reverse-chronological order, dissecting Courtney’s latest missives is even more difficult than translating ancient Sumerian scripts. Fortunately for you, the active Courtney connoisseur, we took a few minutes out of our busy mornings to reorder her 95 hilarious musings on everything from Jimmy Fallon (“shout out to Fallon GOODNIGHT NANCY put a marie antionette wig on and watch Spice World“) to Paul Rudd (“im havingwierder flashbacks of how Paul Rudd is secretly themost hugely sweet boy who ever did collect every Radiohead bootlegever”) to the ghost Twittering phenomenon into a (semi-) digestible format. You’re welcome!
One thing to keep in mind, here. All of this began around 8 a.m. EST, which means it was 5 a.m. in Los Angeles, where Courtney lives. It was either a very late night or a very early morning. Either way, we have bolded the best parts for you … enjoy!
went to annenberg foundation photo exhibit woth lachapelle and met some amazing cool people tonight,,, and wore THE Lanvin! mymyspace appears to have exploded or something, dont you think we shoudl all get off the internet?
thought of a good songtitle ithink 28 things that should kill me. i dunno or Things That Should Kill Me, i secretly like Pinks “sober” i looked atthecredits and five people wrotethatone song but ilike it has a middle beggining end, and that she ryhmes sober with over,i couldve SWORN it was a linda perry song
oooh i do lovethese etsy chicks! one bad apple cant ruin anentirely cool company but theres MUCH biggerfish to fry like finding a great guitar sound finding the ONE human in la who works really really hard andisnt lazy ( theres alot of us but inthe surreal world of celebrity nonsense so many hoping and dreaming and avaricious andcovetous of what those of us wether we knit arm warmers,. write songs.gossip collums
do the people i find who always succeed , succeed because of hard work and a lack ofgreed, a generous gesture, that extra 10% over 100. its always goes so far, my friend heather reads about 100 scripts a week shes all work, shes a genius and will end up running Hollywood.
Edward Norton, heneverver isn’t veryvery consumed, and working, very hard, evenwhen climbing a mountain, Woody Harrelson, Sean Penn always working thier asses off, i learned the efforts of hard work from picking strawberries for 49 cents a lb and practising guitar every single day and night
and when fitting someone wether it was Faye D or Rita Moreno for a cruise ship making sure the arms and under the arms were pinned perfectly, extra pleats where none were asked for, and always always succesful happy people give andgive and give, they arent often really about themselves, there is a narcissism of course there is whenyou know your really excellent at something, crikey id love to have my yoga practise backto where it was in 99 now,but i have a fabulous Buddhist practise and i encourage any one to try SGI< NAMMYOHORENGEKYO>
i dont always do it and its my religion and things get gnarly immediatly, but by practising contrary a action that means taking cold shower whenyou dont want to, or feeling anxious about money but tithing instead, or telling the truth whenit would be much easier to not tell the truth, or to let middlemen fight it out, i know i often post about financial affairs, i get results eg i get the attorney general of NJ NY PA KY calling my attorneys, but FINALLY oh… my GOD<> all these YEARS. of feeling like Sysphus dealing with massive amounts of data and misinformation learning all sorts of shit that unless being a cpa excites the hell out of you FINALLY i can take my first really deep Breathe in over TEN years,
if you knew the toll this has taken, the stabbing living breathinghorror show not just the teensy bits i post in my little blogs by simply sticking illustrations up of the facts, a few of them, nothing much, its like, aaah, if i say a band, performer,designer, jeans, perfume. spiritual practise, song,book is amazing, bam, noone ever questions me, ever. Cos even the haters or whatever you are know i have excellent taste so if i say that God Forbid, a massive amount of Mortgage Fraud occured and crime in the white collar and dirty capacity occured in my life and i have proof documantation that GODFORBID a dirty chick rock star andher family got totally fucked, in ways that are beyond barbaric
and rather than deal with the complications of the case itself the authority thugsm the same type of humans who loathe freaks geeks fags misfits the whole lot of us so they go into professions where it is thier jobto flay us open, to stab our vulnerable soft parts, to cause us pain because we rebel we say what we want and on a very EPIC level we really DO NOT CARE what other people think, i know i DO NOT CARE and STOPPED CARING a LONG time ago what people think of my “persona” i always thought it would be a fun job to tell stories and be the Bitch” i loved and have no problem being the “Bitch” because my friends know im a graceful and good person,i dont do evil things because they dont appeal to me, i dont like cruelty and if i was controlling and rigid and experienced the MALIGNENT narcssism these scathing authority mediocre lives non creatives experienced i would die of boredom.
found an old Valentino Couture sent to me in the 90s when i was a film actor it was lovely, rarefied, the dress and the job, but the job at that moment wasnt what i really wanted, to be a “moviestar” didnt interest my SOUL , and thats so hard for thuggush slow people to accept, a very wise very succesful beauntiful inside and out Movie Star girlfriend sai to me recently that she always”Knew” we all do, if you dont KNOW in your BONES , CELLS , HEART it wont come and the darkness wins,
authenticity is the new black is what i am trying to say, be nice or leave, and that doesnt preclude kicking a few asses, or getting accountibility or demanding justice, DEMANDING it, and doing it for years and years and years, as the light falls on the demonic puke inducing actions of a conspiracy of authority types, Laywers, Cpas.a few loan officers at banks, assnts, vendors, just parasites, who assume you wont havethe strength to gather alliances, and despite being extremely popular and well liked well it isnt polite to discuss shelfcredit, trade lines, feins, apns, corporate ficos, 4 Trillion an year annually in Mortfgage Fraud, it is dizzying and not being a taker you blog about it like a feral animal when it becomes too much
that oldqueen harvey calls you “crazy batshit” when your not and we all know imn crazy like a fox, imn about as fucking uncrazy as you can get, not that i havent BEEN to crazyville, im a peculiar girl, i like asymetry in okay with not being beloved, REALLY, sorry htis is twitter, but i just want to reassure those of you who get anxious and terrified even that as long as you say to yourself “VICTORY! THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION” as long as you are coming from compassion for others you WILL win if you tough out your demons, up and out, up and out
ive beento hell and backand back againand to the top of Everest and down and i like myself and i like my life and i am looking so foreward to this beingup and out, and into the public domain and it HAS bothered me to be called “Crazy” for publically callingout criminal behaviour, but now that its in the hands of people who are truly Powerful and incorruptible in their Power, i can do what I DO, amnd havebeen doing for that last 5 years at least and most of my life, making stuff andtelling stories from within my heart, i dont do quirky,.
i do all out fury allout love all out truth, and with it comes demons, and horror but i have chanted my way through it and its almost over and i can just go to radio silence and do my job, wich i ams o blessed to have, diddy would be throwing a tantrum about some SeanJohn made in China clothes “ill cut” and grabbing his God Knows How He Gotit CFDA award
oh okay the twitter thing is to WITTY fast, okay go to i dont know how to embed, BORDERPATROLBULL- “NOSTALGIA GIRL” shera on you tube the episode she does about shera is just pure fucking genius.
perez wtf? why do I HAVE TO BE THE A:CHOHOL INDUCED FRENZY! i dont even drink i never DID drink! diddycode:i nominate Mario perez hilton Lavandaria as the ce diddyc O of twittering. fer fucks sake why me? why me? allidid was twitter that she had nice tits and twitter alot!
what im going to get to twitter and turn all haiku on yer asses?
okay if NostalgiA girl didnt make you laughgo to funnyordie.com and watch 1. matt geller ” hey sarah palin” parody of heytheredellilah or we saw your mother on spirng break she was having fun, im ready to fucking eat twinkies get laid make love to my lawyer ( not the dude one)
ride a Unicorn shout out to Navarro i LOVE you and to Fallon GOODNIGHT NANCY put a marie antionette wig on and watch Spice World.
yes i am just lowering my perky tits over my keyboard and letting them twit. how the fuck did diddy get a CFDA award? i mean i CARE
jennifer anniston has nice skinactually, im havingflashbacks of watching Radiohead withher at the greek slightly diff from me and ( namedro
Billy Joe reminiscing about playing Fangs ” And themoney will roll right in” naked at maddy gardens,
im havingwierder flashbacks of how Paul Rudd is secretly themost hugely sweet boy who ever did collect every Radiohead bootlegever
but NOT as GENIUS as me winning the Power Pop contest in three moves on an Ipod in Bungalow one the other night
i am actually meeeting with sponsors later im suddenly rather vogue, AUTHENTIC: THE NEW BLACK! and i do read holy moly the uk goss blog, beatsh the 3am girls. and im never in it! omg i did get BOTH Katie Price books and WAGS ABROAD!
omg Moorsish and ROSS and i got the stupidest Wossy book because i fucking LOVE YOU.
ha yes i just have suuuuch great pa’s they ghost twit for me, now its not MY perky tits its my GHOSTS perky ..its Ginger Spices perky tits. THEYRE the ones twittering
ya know at least Kanye TRIES i like him, we were talking about Latinbecause duh musicians are fucking dumb autodidacts who have to ho out to all theI.V. League directors and the hit gf’s they get whos tudy like 8 years of Classics at Cambridge, i could just shut up for MINUTES
its Russell’s perky tits twittering for me, i have brand like a dog on a leash. My Lanvin zipper broke, on this note i am taking my Rickowens 4 tshirts westwood leggings catpissurinalkurtsold cardi perky ass to my Majorelle Gothic revival bed and crack Booky Wooky
im not in the least sorry if im being ditzy i am high on nostalgia girl on your tube and my brits all whom i fucking adore-they make me-HA!
GOD BLESS THE QUEEN but thank god im American, already L8 , mate, i found 6 83/86 Morley NMES in Covent Garden Haircut 100 covers, and Anton Corbjin covers the Bono in front of the trailer the Mculloch w the white horse and theyre all about Human League being Profound, so fuck it i have tons to read i lvoe you alll like unicorns and strawberry shortcake and Degrassi and “Molly Ringwalds favourite band the Rave Ups” and simon f and uh…Theatre of Hate and Azrec Camera and wait im showing my age!
i meant reallty classic season two Mighty Boosh and um really really classic Brasseye cos i was a slip of a girl…love to the uk, no really someone tellme what the top 10 us singles were for 20feb82 in uk :”TowncalledMalice”“GoldenBrown””The Model””MaidofOrleans”err”theLionsleep sTonight”by Tight Fit? “LovePlusOne” “ARTHURSTHEME”(heh)at 8 we have Shakin Stevens w “Oh! JuLie””Deadringer”(Loaf)”SensesWorkingOvertime” do i really have to point out who has the superior culture? i am so not kissing ass, im so proud to be a fat American..BUT!
NO 2 THAT WEEK ON THE INDIE CHARTS WAS “STREETS OF LONDON” ANTI NOWHERE LEAGUE! NOW going to stare atthe Sierra Towers occupents frommy bed
ok just for conor, in this CLASSIC issue of the Nm fucking E we have 1reggae is “Thewaywewere”Prediction, on indie chart the week were such indie genius as FADGADGET!”This Is Your Captain”,”bannedfromthe pubs” Peter and the testtube babies,a Certain Ratio,Mouth(?)Zeitgeist?
at number 28 onthe mainstream charts was MUTHAFUCKAH! “Mirror Mirror” …DOLLAR umwho DOES have the superior society? im confused?
i love the responsible Fallon. the Fallon in a suit Fallon the Juvoven Fallons! im still goingto say ..NOEL FIELDING! gnight!
perez i told you! i told you Boosh and you wouldnt listen! we have to synch our tastes here youyr too powerful now and we want good charts AND Citizens band! Glam hot art Bitchesdoing Berlin 1910 w Missy AufDerMAr looking psycho MORE beautiful than she was! CB have a new show! CB officially OFFICIALLY now makes Ny cooler than London.
NOTHING willever make LA cool, as im sure we all know and accept and were not here to make it cool, were here to work, it serves no other purpose, and Portland was so fucking inevitable its simply annoying plus im the first one out EVER and they never give me props so ill say “FUCKYOU” to Mary’s Topless and HELLO to the 415, were going in an roadtrip, polygamy with the Penns? Please?
Turk and Taylor, “Frenchy’s K and T Peeporama” and Billy Joes kids band Emilys..Emilys…goddammit theyre really cutely good east baypunk! tykelevitz,,BRR. shit i foundit onthe realmattlucas site, its a Finnish fat man and theres 100s of them and theyre psychotic theyre wrong!