stick a feather in your cap and call it macaroni

Disney’s Dark Secret About Earth

Spoiler Alert! The bear lands in the water, not the ice. Sorry!

(Please note: We have made an update to this post. New info appears after the jump.)

Yay, it’s our favorite day of the year, Earth Day! A day in which we can actually feel proud, rather than guilty, for not showering. Because, you know, conservation and stuff! Anyway, perhaps you’ve decided to celebrate this joyous day by heeding the advice that our Earth Day overlords have sent down from on high and turning off your TV tonight.* In which case you’re probably considering going to see Disney’s latest documentary, Earth, at the movies. But if you do, there’s one thing you need to know about it before buying your ticket, something that Disney has not bothered to include in any of the commercials or trailers they’ve been running to advertise this film.

Of course, what we’re referring to here is the fact that THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS BASICALLY A REPEAT! If you’ve seen the trailer and wondered why some of the shots looked familiar, it’s because Earth is a re-skinned and trimmed-down version of the acclaimed, eleven-part 2006 BBC television series, Planet Earth. That’s right, there’s no new footage to be seen here; if you watched the show or own the DVDs, you’ve already seen all that this film has to offer. CORRECTION! We just heard from Disney’s PR people: “The claim that there’s no new footage in the film is misleading. 30% of Earth is new footage and was commissioned at the same time as Planet Earth. Earth was made to spend more time on three animal families – Polar Bears, Whales, Elephants – from the animal kingdom.” Our sincerest apologies; this movie is only 70% recycled footage.

Disney decided to take a few small, family-friendly sections of the film and cull it together into one semi-cohesive whole. To make it seem fresher and more cinematic (as if that were even possible), they slapped a new James Earl Jones narration track over the parts where either David Attenborough or Sigourney Weaver, depending on the country in which you saw it, originally spoke.

That’s not to say that this wouldn’t be a totally sweet thing to see on the big screen. Unfortunately, though, today is 4/22 and not 4/20. We think Disney missed out on some real synergistic opportunities there.

*It certainly doesn’t hurt that Lost is a repeat clip show tonight.

Disney’s Dark Secret About Earth