We don’t mean to be alarmist here, but if you leave your home to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine this weekend, you will almost certainly be dead by Monday. The movie’s run of terrific luck continues, as Fox announces the postponement of tomorrow’s planned Mexico City premiere due to its location in the epicenter of the impending swine-flu pandemic (since most theaters will be closed anyway, it’s not like they had a choice). A studio spokesperson tells People: “We were not only concerned about Hugh’s welfare — and we would never send anyone into harm’s way — but we also have an enormous office filled with people we care about.” (Sounds to us like they’re mostly concerned about Hugh.)
So now that the movie has been leaked to the Internet a month early and had its opening weekend hamstrung by pig flu, the question becomes: Which biblical plague will befall Wolverine next? Will it rain frogs at the Los Angeles premiere? Maybe locusts will swarm the concessions stands and all of Fox head Tom Rothman’s cattle will die? We can only pray that God finds the mercy not to smite Hugh Jackman with a boil on his chest.