A few Fridays ago, your friendly Vulture editors challenged you, the friendly Vulture commenters, to compose a witty and elegiac haiku that sums up the life and times of one Britney Jean Spears. The prize? Two VIP tickets to Brit-Brit’s August 24 show at Madison Square Garden. Needless to say, we were blown away by both the volume and the quality of the responses. While we are still huddling together to determine the winner (which will be announced tomorrow), we’d like to shine a spotlight on what we felt were the top ten strongest entries. Give yourselves a pat on the back, people!
Here they are, presented in chronological order:
Gives us what we crave
Ass-shaking, meltdowns, rebound
Without thinking twice
By BarbaP on 06/20/2009 at 7:45pm
Blond baby. Lone mom.
Who wants to be a popstar?
Butterfly. Take Two.
By kathynyc on 06/21/2009 at 1:03am
Leave Britney alone.
She has feelings and a soul
And thighs that won’t quit.
By philipdawkins on 06/21/2009 at 2:40pm
Like a summer storm,
she thunders, blows and flashes.
Oh what a circus.
By dmax on 06/22/2009 at 11:05am
my life, a circus
you love to watch me decay
hundred dollar seats
By hershy on 06/23/2009 at 10:24am
She wanted stardom
But the machine worked too well
Stumbled. Now she’s back!
By shrpasamrble on 06/23/2009 at 4:41pm
Bald schoolyard vixen
I can’t believe that you breed.
What hath Disney wrought?
By mp225 on 6/24/2009 at 12:03pm
A slave 4 scandal
Your Cheeto libido drives
This toxic joy ride
By ktfania on 06/24/2009 at 12:46pm
Shaved, Enslaved, Bizarre
Who would want a sane pop star?
Gimme gimme more
By amajorscaler on 06/26/2009 at 11:16am
With MJ now gone,
the world must look elsewhere for
batshit and awesome.
By mp225 on 06/26/2009 at 4:44pm
Our hearty congratulations to all of the above, and thank you to everyone who took the time to submit an entry!