quote machine

Michael Douglas Is Your Elder and You Had Better Respect Him, Dammit!

“I’m being honored for a Lifetime Achievement Award and you ask my wife what she is wearing. Not even the second question, you ask it straight up.” —Michael Douglas on wanting the night to be about him [Fox]

“I would die if someone took [fame] away. I wouldn’t be a person anymore.” —Lady Gaga [Spinner]

“If you take any of that sex symbol stuff seriously, you need to be euthanised — ASAP. There are moments when you can use that to your advantage. But it’s really embarrassing. I think I fear more than anything just sounding like a complete asshole when I have to answer that question.” —Ryan Reynolds on his fear of being hot [Female First]

“Last night, I had a driver when I went from Santa Cruz to San Francisco, and she was from Mexico, and her cousin had both his arms eaten off by pigs, and then he had to learn to do everything with his feet, and now he’s a lawyer. I just love that.” —David Sedaris on the stories that fall in his lap [Indy Week]

“When we started in television, there was that magic box in the corner of the room, and ‘Oh my gosh—look what it’s doing!’ But as the years went on, the audience has become very jaded. They’ve heard every joke, they’ve seen every story line, they know where you’re going before you even start to get there. And that’s a hard audience to keep interested, and that’s why I think so much of the shows now try to throw language, or situations, or sex — anything to get the audience’s attention. I think it’s hard to go back and find that innocence. You can’t. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.” —Betty White on the loss of innocence [Movieline]

“I’ve never cared about representing it naturalistically. I always tried to show it the way I felt about it. I’m always attracted to the unreal New York. Guys like Martin Scorsese and Spike Lee depict New York very often very realistically. Very, very beautifully and very correctly. I don’t. The New York I’ve shown over the years is the New York I got from Hollywood movies.” —Woody Allen prefers fantasy [USAT]

Michael Douglas Is Your Elder and You Had Better Respect Him, Dammit!