When we suggested on Friday that Susan Boyle ought to consider turning to that white-bearded sage Kenny Rogers for advice on how to deal with the pressures of rocketing from obscurity to global stardom in a matter of weeks, we had no idea that the weekend would conclude with Susan Boyle losing the Britain’s Got Talent finale and then running straight to Britain’s most infamous rehab clinic, the Priory. Despite racking up over 180 million views in YouTube in the last two months, Boyle was unable to walk away with the BGT crown, after the people of Great Britain stunningly decided to cast more votes for the dance troupe Diversity — who, to us, can’t hold a candle to either the JabbaWockeeZ or the Adam/Chu Dance Crew — than they did for Boyle’s repeat performance of “I Dreamed a Dream.” When the results were announced, a look of relief seemed to wash over Boyle’s face, but sadly, things would end up getting worse as the weekend progressed.
We all saw the warning signs that Boyle was starting to crack last week, but nobody envisioned that her weekend would end with the police being called to her hotel on Sunday night after she suffered what the Daily Mail described as an “emotional breakdown.” After doctors assessed her under Britain’s Mental Health Act, SuBo voluntarily checked herself into the Priory, where doctors will be treating her for exhaustion. When it comes to celebs and rehab, that’s generally code for “massive drug problem,” but in the case of Boyle, we’re hopeful that they’re referencing the more traditional definition of the diagnosis.
While most of the media focus is (rightly) on Boyle’s well-being at the moment, we’re still gobsmacked (to use the local parlance) that some mildly talented dance troupe was able to pull off this sort of upset. After all, in the semifinal just last weekend, Boyle was matched head-to-head with Diversity and roundly trounced the dance crew by collecting 52.1 percent of the vote compared to Diversity’s 36.2 percent. Some are placing the blame on the Boyle backlash that began brewing in the Fleet Street tabloids last week, but that still doesn’t explain why Diversity was able to capitalize when Boyle fell. We’ve got their winning performance below and we’d LOVE to hear your theories as to why, out of the other five finalists, these guys were deemed to be the best England has to offer.