Last night’s Emmys telecast certainly left a few things to be desired, but one new wrinkle we really enjoyed was the addition of a comedic color commentator to the proceedings. That role was filled by none other than the former professional literary agent and Mr. PC himself, John Hodgman. Although there were times when it was somewhat difficult for audiences at home to hear Hodgman’s wry commentary over the swell of music that Emmy producers often cued up to ear-piercing volumes, we managed to compile five of Hodgman’s best quick-hit riffs delivered between the time the category winners were announced and the time they reached the stage.
5. “Jeffrey Blitz reports that he went to the school of hard knocks, where he majored in French literature. The first thing he did when he learned of his nomination was to kiss Angelina Jolie, then go back to bed.” —On Jeffrey Blitz’s victory in the Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series category
4. “Jon Cryer’s first TV credit was as Teenage Herbert on the show Noon Wine. He co-starred with Charlie Sheen in Hot Shots. How many people knew that was a backdoor pilot to Two and a Half Men?” —On Jon Cryer’s victory in the Best Supporting Actor, Comedy category
3. “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart is celebrating its 76th year on the air. It began on Comedy Central Radio as Stewart-Brand Chicken-Fat All-Star
Baked Beans Fake News Half Hour.*This is their 900th Emmy, and frankly, that’s too much.” —On The Daily Show’s victory in the Best Variety Series category
2. “If Michael Emerson weren’t on television right now, he would be in New York City, having a fancy cocktail with me. That is, until S. Epatha Merkerson walked into the room, then he’d blow me off. That’s a true story.” —On Michael Emerson’s victory in the Best Supporting Actor, Drama category
1. “After playing the president on 24, she is now considered the front-runner for the 2012 Republication nomination.” —On Cherry Jones’s victory in the Best Supporting Actress, Drama category
*Thanks for the assist, @hodgman!