Bored to Death Reality Index: On MILF Island

Bored to Death

The Case of the Stolen Skateboard
Season 1 Episode 4

The show ambles into its most comic territory yet with references to masturbation, obsessions with armpit hair, and vegan mouths. It also continues its streak of surprisingly good female cameos with Parker Posey as an obnoxiously restrictive Brooklyn mother, and Bebe Neuwirth as a chilly book editor.

Ray’s control-freak girlfriend hooks Jonathan up with his next client: a radical vegan whose son had his skateboard stolen. He meets the mother — Parker Posey — and gets the story with a side-dish of make out and carrot juice. George, meanwhile, has met a hottie with tantalizing blond underarm hair; he insists Jonathan accompany him to her “organic game” event at a Greenpoint eatery. The rapscallions Jonathan recovered the skateboard from earlier find him at the restaurant and smash the window, ruining George’s chances, and when Jonathan brings the board back to the mother, she doesn’t invite him in. Another case closed, another door shut.

Not Feeling It
•Though we love how Ray delivers his semen with Chicago-spoof jazz hands, singing “all that jizz,” the idea of asking an unkempt, overweight “artist” to father a lesbian couple’s child went out with David Crosby and Melissa Etheridge. Minus 3.

•It’s a classic complaint for TV realists, but the size of these Brooklyn apartments — especially for artists and single mothers — is pushing it. Or, at least, the number of apartments with eat-in kitchens and/or dining rooms is off. Minus 1.

•Since when did New York City go Dogtown and Z-Boys? Skateboarding may not be a crime in New York, but it definitely isn’t as prolific as Jonathan Ames seems to believe. Minus 2.

•Would the radical vegan — the epitome of an overprotective, overly restrictive Brooklyn mother — ever let her baby boy engage in “extreme sports”? No chance. Minus 2.

•As the skateboarders chase Jonathan, he instantaneously warps from the foot of the Williamsburg Bridge to Hoyt Street in Carrol Gardens, and is later caught at the “Greenpoint Pastures” eatery. These kids have skateboards, not teleportation devices. Minus 3.

Marty Markowitz Would Be Proud
•With her choice of live-food “cocktail” and a chiropractic mating ritual, Parker Posey makes a perfect representation of the insufferable New York woman. Plus 3.

•George’s line that “Brooklyn is the new Manhattan” is so outdated that it’s almost accurate again — particularly from the desperately cool-seeking media man. Plus 2.

•Greenpoint is the perfect locale for a quasi-locavore food emporium — like Marlow & Sons North. Plus 2.

•Stoic Bebe Neuwirth is perfectly cast as the Four-Seasons-lunching book editor who incongruously pursues Jonathan’s kama sutra novel. Plus 3.

•The hispanic skate-punk’s epithet for Jonathan, “big nose,” is an apt representation of New York’s intra-minority tension. Plus 2.

•The likely New York stories beat out the implausibles by one point! So the show is making progress, and considering it took place mainly in Carroll Gardens and Greenpoint, we can forgive the paucity of minorities.

Related: Bored to Death Roasts New Brooklyn Cuisine [Grub Street]

Bored to Death Reality Index: On MILF Island