Onstage, Sienna Miller Knows Her Way Around a Scrotum

“You’re thinking about my scrotum, aren’t you?”

We want whatever “Rush & Malloy” are smoking: Today the gossip power couple made an entire (we assume intentionally) hilarious item out of asking Sienna Miller how she manages not to hurt her co-star Jonny Lee Miller in a pivotal scene in their current Broadway play After Miss Julie in which she appears to grab his scrotum:

“I shouldn’t give away the secret,” the actress told us at the play’s opening last week. “But I’m obviously not doing what it looks like. I grab a bit of his thigh.”

That’s fine, but then the item goes on to suggest the following based on assumptions only:

1. That Angelina Jolie grabbed Jonny Lee Miller’s scrotum while they were married.

2. That Jonny Lee Miller would physically harm Sienna Miller if she accidentally grabbed his actual scrotum, instead of his thigh. (To be fair, it is he who suggests that.)

3. That Sienna Miller’s ex-boyfriends Jude Law and Daniel Craig were responsible for teaching Sienna how to grab a man’s thigh in such a way that it looks like she’s grabbing his scrotum.

And then Sienna weighs in about the British class system. Basically, it’s the best gossip item of all time and we want to marry it.

Sienna Miller keeps careful from damaging Jonny Lee Miller’s privates for ‘After Miss Julie
’ [NYDN]

Onstage, Sienna Miller Knows Her Way Around a Scrotum