i am the new black

Tracy Morgan Really Loves Him Some Lorne Michaels

It is our sincere hope that someone can find a way for Tracy Morgan’s media tour of awesomeness and curse words to never end. His latest round of stark revelations and insane jokes comes from an interview with Playboy. It was in response to a question about Lorne Michaels that Morgan gave his most compelling answer:

Motherfucker took me out of the ghetto. That’s my dude, man. He’s been like a dad to me. I remember when I was on Saturday Night Live my first year and I wasn’t getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. It was three o’clock in the morning, man, I’ll never forget. Makes me want to cry sometimes when I think about it. I love that man. I love that man. [long pause; starts to cry] I’m sorry, man. Excuse me. [another long pause] Son of a bitch … motherfucker’s good. I remember one time Lorne took me to his office, and he said, “Tracy, you are here not because you’re black. You’re here because you’re fucking funny, man.” [bursts into tears again; wipes face with shirt] Changed my whole perspective … They say every Jewish man is supposed to love one black motherfucker in this life. I’m glad Lorne Michaels chose me.

On Tina Fey: “Tina is my baby girl. She’s my sister from another mother of a different color. I’d do 25 to life for her. She is down like four flat tires.”

On Tracy Jordan: “Tracy Morgan is much more interesting and far-out than Tracy Jordan could ever be.”

On uncle Fat Mike: “That [Tracy Jordan running through traffic in his underwear] was based on my uncle Fat Mike. He ran down the street in his underwear with a lightsaber — several times. He was way crazy. He was Tracy Jordan to the fifth power.”

On his hobbies: “These days I’m into bike riding and breaking water. I like breaking women’s water. If you’re pregnant and you need your water broken, you need your labor induced, give me a call and I’ll ride my bike over and take care of it.”

On his sexual proclivities: “I like fucking ass! Ain’t nothin’ like the butthole. The ass is a delicacy, goddamn it. I’d put hot sauce on it. When you eat the brown hole, that’s when her toes do this.” [Sticks legs out and curls toes]

Tracy Morgan: 20Q [Playboy (SFW)]

Tracy Morgan Really Loves Him Some Lorne Michaels