This summer, as we watched plotless board game and childhood toy after plotless board game and childhood toy get optioned by Hollywood (this needs to be pointed out just once more — they’re making a View-Master movie), we wondered just how the hell filmmakers would manage these adaptations. Now we’re getting some damn answers. This week, Peter Berg, director of Battleship, talked to reporters about his crazy-sounding movie.
So, yes, it’ll be a big naval-warfare movie, only the enemy won’t be an opposing country, but rather water bug–like aliens called the Regents; they come to earth to build something mysterious, and in the process mix it up with a five-ship fleet. Luckily, according to CHUD, “their weapons are ballistics-based” and “while their boats are inserted into Earth’s atmosphere through flight, once they get to the water they stay on the water.”
This is our second-favorite part:
The Regents will in some way render the Navy’s high tech inoperable. Falling back on old school methods, our heroes must track and destroy the alien fleet with whatever tools they have, including trial and error. Just like in the game.
This is our favorite part:
Someone will say ‘You sank my battleship!’ in the movie. In fact, Berg is adamant that it has to be there.
Of course, this is far crazier than what we came up with.