Avatar’s Success Means That Every Movie Ever Will Get a 3-D Re-Release

“Meesa want $16 more from yousa!”

The wise and powerful Perez Hilton may have already declared Avatar to be a colossal failure, but other important figures in the Hollywood community are bravely bucking the tide and recognizing that the immersive 3-D experience can provide a quick boost to their bottom lines. But before you get too excited about the prospect that the public’s embrace of Avatar means that more filmmakers will experiment with the medium, we have some bad (yet certainly not unexpected) news to share with you. Considering that there’s a large discrepancy between the long lead times of the Hollywood product-development cycle and the need to deliver quarterly profits in the here and now, the near-term solution to get you and yours to shell out upwards of $16 for a 3-D ticket (instead of the measly $12 for a regular 2-D ticket) is to upgrade a bunch of movies that you’ve already paid to see a hundred times before using the shiny new technology.

According to Sharon Waxman over at the Wrap, there are already plans underway to re-release classic action pics like Star Wars, Jurassic Park, and even Terminator 2: Judgment Day in 3-D. Yes, that’s right, fatcats like George Lucas — guys, mind you, who have not only convinced you to see their movies in the theaters multiple times, but also to buy their movies on VHS, DVD, special-edition DVD, and Blu-Ray — are exploring how much it would cost to convert the explosion of the Death Star into three (admittedly glorious) dimensions as a means of prying another $16 from your pocket. Translation? You can safely chalk another one up for commerce in its long-standing war against art.

Hollywood Seized by 3D Mania [Wrap]

Avatar’s Success Means That Every Movie Ever Will Get a 3-D Re-Release