One year ago this very weekend, a report surfaced that claimed that Summit Entertainment was considering dropping Taylor Lautner from the Twilight sequel, New Moon, because the then 16 year-old was reportedly too “baby-faced” to effectively portray the increasingly snarly character of Jacob. Well, Lautner responded to this criticism by packing on some 30 pounds of muscle (most of it in his abs) and by waging a very effective (and very public) battle to keep his job. This commitment to the franchise impressed Summit and they allowed Lautner to appear in the sequel and, over the last twelve months, emerge as one of the hunkiest young heartthrobs in Hollywood. So, it’s kind of a fitting twist that Lautner would get a chance to host Saturday Night Live this weekend and get the opportunity to prove once again that he’s more than just a baby-faced sufferer of restless leg syndrome.
While we had previous knowledge that Taylor Lautner’s allegedly restless legs were capable of allowing Lautner to spontaneously backflip whenever he feels like it, we had no idea that he would go all Tony Jaa on a Kanye West mannequin just minutes into his monologue:
We haven’t seen aggression like this on the stage of Studio 8H since John Belushi and Michael O’Donoghue booked Fear as the musical guest way back in 1981. And as far as the host’s athletic ability is concerned, the wall-flipping Joseph Gordon-Levitt is likely eating his heart out at this very moment.
As for the rest of the episode, well, there isn’t much to say. Lautner proved himself to be an adequate host by the sheer fact that he never flubbed a line or missed a cue, but on the other hand, he was unable to elevate any of the material or really ever connect with the audience. It’s not like we expected the 17 year-old to deliver a Baldwinesque performance his first time out of the gate or anything, but we were hoping that he would show a flash of something to help prove that he’s got more tricks in his arsenal than dimples and a six-pack. And the best we can say for the evening’s musical guest, Bon Jovi, was that it took us nearly a full minute to hit our fast-forward button on our DVR during both of their performances. Frankly, we think that the show missed out on a potentially hilarious skit by having Bon Jovi interact with their nemeses in Jon Bovi in some fashion, but if we were to wager on why this didn’t come to fruition, we’d lay our money on the domineering Jon Bon Jovi spiking it.
Having said that, we couldn’t be more excited to witness new castmember Jenny Slate finally have another breakthrough evening. Not only did she absolutely ace her Elvis impression in the Show Choir skit, but her work as Tina Tina the doorbell entrepreneur went over so well that we wouldn’t be surprised to see this become a recurring character: