On Oscar night, March 24, 1998, James Cameron cemented his arrogant-blowhard status forever when he bellowed at top volume the cringiest line from Titanic while accepting the award for Best Director. But what about this year? Though Avatar lacks a singular piece of dialogue as stupidly obvious as “I’m the king of the world,” we have little doubt that Cameron will find something in his screenplay that, when hollered by an obnoxious egotist waving an Academy Award overhead, eloquently conveys just how much he thinks everyone in the Kodak Theatre should kiss his ass. We’re still skeptical about his movie’s chances in major categories this year, but since he’s no doubt rehearsing his speech in front of an IMAX-size bathroom mirror right now, we figured we’d give him a hand. After the jump, ten lines from Avatar we’d like to hear shouted from the Oscar podium on March 7.
10. “Who’s bad? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about, bitch!”
9. “Look at all that cheddar!”
8. “If there is a hell, you might want to go there for some R&R!”
7. “Maybe I was sick of doctors telling me what I couldn’t do!”
6. “Pandora will shit you out dead with zero warning!”
5. “You’re stupid — ignorant like a child!”
4. “Who’s got my goddamn cigarette?!”
3. “This is a place for prayers to be heard — and sometimes answered!”
2. “What the hell have you people been smoking out there?!”
1. “Well, who’d you expect, numbnuts?!”
