The Golden Globes telecast is famously Hollywood’s booziest awards show, and often, looking at what people choose to wear to it, we ourselves consider climbing into the bottom of a bottle in the hopes that the veil of sweet intoxication will clarify their reasoning. But we’d never drink on the job — and good thing, too, because on the other side of the spectrum are gowns too gorgeous to view through bleary eyes. Click through for a slideshow of our picks for the good, the bad, and the questionable of 2010’s Golden Globes.
Tina’s got great legs, so it’s beyond us why she’d choose to cover them up with what appears to be a giant striped herringbone lampshade. Moreover, the skirt’s bizarre length makes her look wicked stumpy, like this whole time she’s been secretly walking around with foreshortened limbs. Limbs which, last night, just happened to end in shoes originally chosen to go with an entirely different outfit. We hate to say it, because she does look great from the waist up, but Tina totally Lemoned this one.
The purple color is striking, but Sandy’s see-through skirt reminds us of something you’d use to line a gift bag, not wear while you are taking one home because you’re a double nominee. This woman is having a fantastic year, so somebody ought to fork over some hot couture that doesn’t require so much attention to shaving on an already stressful day.
That skirt looks like her knee-length dress got snagged on a widow’s lace tablecloth. We’re wondering if this is Penélope’s answer to those pesky rumors that she’s pregnant. Why wear something this overwrought unless it was the tightest, least bump-concealing outfit on the rack? We say, let the rumors fly and pick something prettier.
Say what you will about Diane Kruger, but at least she’s never boring. The splashy pink of this dress was a refreshing spot of color amid all of last night’s black gowns, and the tiny ruffles around the asymmetrical neckline make her look a bit like she’s wearing a particularly blowsy rose — which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We could have lived without a white detail at the belt (what is that?), and we suspect the back of this dress takes an unscheduled detour into Crazytown, but overall, it’s a ride we’re willing to take.
Like Diane Kruger, Maggie Gyllenhaal is no stranger to fashion risks. This time, though, while her dress has some interesting architectural details, we expected more from her than a peach frock with a fishtail hem, no accessories, and an updo. She almost looks — dare we say it? — bland. That’s unexpected in a bad way.
It’s more topical to make some comment about how this is as green as the lush Pandora forests, but let’s face it: It’s all about the bod. Sigourney Weaver is 60. And she’s still got it. The snug cut, the shoulders, the skin … if we looked this good now, we could die happy.
This is classic Sevigny: at once eye-catching, distracting, puzzling, graceful, intense, and insane, with pretty portions and then prudish ones. On anyone else, it’d be too much dress, but we’re so accustomed to seeing this much froof on Chloë that we’re almost surprised it doesn’t have MORE going on — a train made of bees, maybe, or tear-off portions that reveal yet another dress underneath. As it is, we just hope she intends to reimburse the hotel from which she stole the drapes required to make this happen.
It’s tough to pull off cocktail-length at something as fancy as an awards show — even one that’s as whiskey-drenched as the Globes — so we applaud Kristen Bell for doing it so gracefully. It fits, it’s flattering, and it’s accessorized with just the right blend of sparkle and restraint. All she needs is a movie role that suits her just as well.
How can someone so vibrant look so drab? From the chin up, we’re onboard, but we have no idea why she’s wearing a body bag sewn to an old Elizabethan funereal neck ruff. Let’s hope it’s research for a role in which she plays some sort of drunk nineteenth-century undertaker.
Zoe’s had a stellar 2009, so it seems only right that she’d roll into 2010 with a gown that knocks us flat. This dress is complicated — ruffles, layers, bows, and ties — but she’s wearing it as easily as jeans and a tank top. Bonus: That vibrant, deep red is divine.
Bless Olivia Wilde for pulling out all the stops in this super-glamorous metallic number. She looks sleek and sexy, without being sleazy or obvious — a lesson other Hollywood starlets could stand to learn. Bonus points for looking like she’s daring to have fun.
Dear God. Isn’t there some way we can all band together for a Patricia Arquette Red Carpet Intervention? The woman clearly needs our help. When you’ve got people wondering if your dress is rain-stained, or it’s some unfortunate pattern, it’s time to involve a professional.