ranters and ravers

What’s the Worst Movie of 2009?

Surprisingly, it’s not Paul Blart: Mall Cop! In fact, that memorable Blart got just one vote in our year-end critics’ poll, which determines the year’s worst stinkers, turkeys, botches, and fiascoes once and for all.

After all, this time of year, everyone’s in a hurry to explain to you why Up or Avatar or Invictus is the best movie of the year. But what about the awful films of 2009? Who will remember them? The warmongering toy commercials, the unfunny comedies, the misguided awards fare, the chaos of Lars von Trier? Who will tell us which, of the 300-plus movies disgorged by Hollywood this year, was truly the most lousy?

Vulture, that’s who! The Vulture Critics’ Poll is the definitive survey of terribleness in film, with ballots and commentary from 43 of America’s most prominent critics, from Manohla Dargis to David Edelstein, from J. Hoberman to A.O. Scott. (But not Anthony Lane! He won’t return our e-mails!)

So sit back, click through, and revel in our inglorious list of the ten worst movies of 2009. And when you’re done, check out the ballots, complete with awesome commentary from critics finally cutting loose on movies they cannot believe they hated so much.

Related: Vulture’s Critics’ Poll: The Complete Ballots
Previously: The 2008 Vulture Critics’ Poll

What’s the Worst Movie of 2009?