A lot of action in our latest installment, including gun shots, weird diss songs, and dramatic fictionalizations. Our weekly ranking of the winners and losers in hip-hop drama begins … right now.
5. Young Jeezy versus Gucci Mane
Say What? The down-south heavyweights supposedly squashed their bad blood, although nobody bothered telling their weed carriers: A brawl broke out between Gucci’s and Jeezy’s crews at Atlanta’s Walter’s Clothing last Friday, complete with shots fired (no one was hit). Of course, Gucci’s buddy Waka Flocka Flame was involved.
The Takeaway: A TWiRB public-service announcement: Actual violence takes all the fun out of rap beef so please, folks, stay civil. Also not helping Waka this week is the fact that we found a guy with an even better dumb-rap name: well done, Black Cobain.
4. Alfamega versus T.I.
Say What? Alfamega got the boot from T.I.’s Grand Hustle crew when the Smoking Gun outed him as a former DEA informant. Apparently he’s been biding his time until T.I.’s return to voice his displeasure with the development, doing so on a new track called “Greenlight.”
The Takeaway: Our favorite Alfamega story would definitely be that time he ran away from the cops when they found a gun on him. From MTV’s report: “Officer Antonio Blasini pepper-sprayed [Alfamega] in the face, but it “had no immediate effect.” Police chased him to a parking garage, where he was struck with a police baton but continued trying to escape. The emcee then weaved through parked cars and climbed over the garage wall, jumping “25–30” feet after climbing a wall. “‘This resulted in an injury that appeared to be pieces of bone protruding from his ankle,’ Blansini said.” Holy crap! But in “Greenlight,” Alfamega undoes all that goodwill with one line: “Your jury might be real, but nigga you fakin’ / I’ll eat your sweet ass up like a pound cake.” Um, what?
3. Raaaaaaaandy versus Justin Bieber
Say What? Raaaaaaaandy claims Justin Bieber not only stole “Baby” from his “Baby, Baby” but also shot him in the knee in the process.
The Takeaway: It takes a real man to confess to a physical assault from Justin Bieber, and for that we salute you, Raaaaaaaandy. Also, more rap beef needs to utilize dramatic reenactments.
2. Ludacris versus Bill O’Reilly
Say What? Bill O’Reilly kicked off his anti-rapper lifestyle by getting Ludacris fired as a Pepsi spokesperson in 2002, but the two have now kissed and made up after running into each other at a charity event.
The Takeaway: Bill O’Reilly’s an idiot.
1. Jay-Z versus T-Pain
Say What? Another feud deaded, with T-Pain explaining he spoke to Jay-Z directly backstage at the Grammys and apologized for lashing out at Hova (for his anti–Auto-Tune stance) during a show in Vegas. “We shook hands, did the little chest bump. That was the end of that.”
The Takeaway: Yay, friendship!