Dreamworks Animation’s How to Train Your Dragon 3-D arrives in theaters today, just in time to take advantage of new high ticket prices (yay, free-market capitalism!). So far, most reviews of the movie — based on the children’s book about a Viking teenager, Hiccup (voiced by Jay Baruchel), who befriends one of the flying dragons he’s supposed to be at war with — have been favorable. A notable exception, though, is the Post’s Kyle Smith, who’s pretty sure Dragon will turn your kids into gay, tree-hugging, peacenik socialists, just like Avatar, another recent left-leaning 3-D movie that also featured three-dimensional flying dragons.
Shouldn’t the dragon wars stop? Shouldn’t we all live together in a warm, friendly human-dragon commune? Hiccup tells the dragons, “Everything we know about you guys is wrong” and believes the beasts are not killers — “They defend themselves, that’s all.” Of his own folk, he says, “The food that grows here is tough and tasteless — the people, even more so.”
Hurrah for all this. Really, it’s never too soon to get your kids to accept that their own culture is pathetic — and that the alien one their society is at perpetual war with is really friendly, peace-loving and misunderstood. Hiccup may not be much of a dragon-slayer but in the sequel maybe he’ll go on to a brilliant career in the State Department.
Am I the only one who sees the real threat? Come on, Vikings of Berk, wake up. These dragons are fire-breathing carnivorous monsters. Have you thought about just how much carbon they emit?
So why do all of our 3-D flying-dragon movies have liberal biases? Must we cede an entire genre to James Cameron and his pinko comrades? Does no one in Hollywood have any good ideas for movies in which dragons must be slayed in order to prevent them from taking American welding jobs?