Listen to this new T-Pain song “Kiss Her,” embedded below, then come back up here, and then ask yourself: How has someone not already made a song appropriating the popular childhood tease “[Person A] and [Person B] sitting in a tree/k-i-s-s-i-n-g” into an aggressively discomfiting song about threeways? It is exactly for reasons like this that T-Pain was manufactured by benevolent-but-bottom-line-minded music-industry scientists. (Our favorite part is when he goes “I wanna see you kiss your friend/kiss her like you mean it/and if you do it, you can come to my place.”) You know, at first we thought the Auto-Tune king was for sure waging a losing battle when he decided to name his new album Revolver, but since it turns out “Kiss Her” is almost as good as “Dr. Robert,” we’re reconsidering.
Note: Usually we minimize these YouTube links, but since the still is T-Pain riding an elephant, it just didn’t feel right.