What a world, what a world! During last night’s DWTS results show, the unthinkable happened: Out of the bottom two contestants, the impressively vivacious Pamela Anderson (wow, the DWTS viewers really don’t like her) and the galumphing Kate Gosselin, it was Gosselin who got eliminated from the show. After Brooke Burke applauded her “courage,” Kate got weepy and admitted that she had a feeling that she’d be a goner, “and my gut feelings are always right … and it’s okay.” (We wonder what her gut feeling was telling her as she walked down the aisle toward Jon and then you’ll have many, many children … and then you’ll be on TV! … and then you’ll get a very, very bad haircut … and then you’ll be famous! … and then you’ll do the rumba in front of millions and millions of people … ) Kate’s good-bye was fairly restrained and genuine: “I was scared to death most of the time to be out here,” she said, dabbing her eyes. And though she has historically had a hard time conveying any emotion other than passive aggression or boredom, she seemed to be really trying to get across that she was sad to go.
So what happened, America? Though Gosselin had regularly received the lowest scores from the judges, she’d never even been in the bottom two before this week, as the outside voters had continued to rally to save her. Our theory: After Monday’s low-energy performance, people just got bored. There was no big drama in her rehearsal footage (just lots of yawning), and without that, it was basically just like watching a TV segment on your grumpy aunt with two left feet. As much as her woe-is-me antics were irritating, they were at least entertaining enough to make up for her woe-is-us dancing skills. We’re actually disappointed to see Gosselin go (though probably not as devastated as ABC, enjoying its best DWTS ratings ever); we enjoyed dissecting her journey, and now not only will we have nothing to write about, we’ll be Kate Gosselin–less until, wait, her new reality show, Twist of Kate, debuts on TLC in late summer? Never mind. We’ll see you all too soon, Kate.