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Who Likes Cop Shows? You’d Better

Broadcast TV ratings continue to drop, so this development season, the major networks decided they needed to come up with something revolutionary, something so out there and surprising that audiences would just have to tune in. And they all came to the same groundbreaking conclusion: More cop shows! Almost twenty police-themed pilots are in the works, according to Horizon Media, each one utterly unique, like snowflakes. Granted, like snowflakes that can be separated into five distinct, very familiar categories, but still …

COPS WHO’VE BEEN FRAMED!

The Cape (NBC): A framed cop kicked off the force turns himself into a caped crusader to fight crime, prove his innocence and win back the love of his kid.
Starring: David Lyons (ER), Summer Glau (Sarah Connor Chronicles).

Boston’s Finest (ABC): A framed cop who faked his own death to escape his enemies teams with a beautiful (and as-yet-unframed) detective to help fight crime and prove his innocence.
Starring: Goran Visjnic, Katee Sackhoff.

COPS WITH FRAMED DIPLOMAS!

I Witness (CBS): A gutsy-but-gorgeous college professor and part-time detective uses her psycho-physiological skills to solve crimes, though her egg-headed perspective occasionally creates conflicts with her bureaucratic superiors.
Starring: No cast yet.

Body of Evidence (ABC): A gutsy-but-gorgeous neurosurgeon joins the medical examiner’s office, but her tenacity and scientific perspective occasionally create conflicts with her bureaucratic superiors.
Starring: Dana Delany (Desperate Housewives).

Edgar Floats (ABC): A police psychologist freelances as a bounty hunter, but his smarty-pants background occasionally creates conflicts with his blue-collar bounty hunter in-laws.
Starring: Tom Cavanagh (Ed), Robert Patrick (T2).

Criminal Minds: San Francisco (CBS): A gusty-but-bald FBI man leads a new group of profilers in solving crimes, but their tenacity occasionally creates conflicts with serial killers.
Starring: Forest Whitaker.

COPS WHO LEAVE THE BIG TIME, BUT STILL STUMBLE ONTO BIG-TIME TROUBLE

The Gates (ABC): Cop from a Big City gives up his urban job to run law enforcement at a gated community in an affluent suburb, where he discovers a web of intrigue.
Starring: Frank Grillo (Prison Break), Janina Gavankar (The L Word).

True Blue (ABC): A group of former San Francisco homicide detectives reunites to solve the murder of one of their own, and they discover a web of intrigue.
Starring: Malcolm-Jamal Warner.

Pleading Guilty (Fox): Alcoholic ex-cop turned blue-chip attorney searches for his firm’s partner who disappeared with a client’s millions. Web. Intrigue.
Starring: John Larroquette.

Breakfast Kings (Fox): A former cop pairs with three hard-nosed convicts to track down escaped prisoners for the U.S. Marshals. No web of intrigue is uncovered, but the protagonist does discover how to make a shiv out of a toilet brush.
Starring: Laz Alonso (Southland), Domenick Lombardozzi (The Wire).

COPS WITH REGIONAL FLAIR!

Hawaii Five-O (CBS): Steve McGarrett teams with Chin Ho Kelly to take down Hawaiian ne’er-do-wells.
Starring: Alex O’Loughlin, Daniel Dae Kim, Jean Smart.

The Odds (CBS): Two Las Vegas cops take down gambling, pimping, and mobbed-up ne’er-do-wells.
Starring: Donald Faison (Scrubs).

187 Detroit (ABC): Detroit cops take down the few ne’er-do-wells left in their city, mockumentary-style.
Starring: Michael Imperioli, Aisha Hinds (True Blood).

Ride-Along (Fox): Chicago cops take down ne’er-do-wells eating deep-dish pizza.
Starring: Jennifer Beals, Jason Clarke.

Reagan’s Law (CBS): Three generations of a New York City cop family (including the current chief and former chief) take down ne’er-do-wells who say “fuggedaboudit.”
Starring: Tom Selleck, Donnie Wahlberg, Bridget Moynihan, Len Cariou.

COPS LACKING WORK-LIFE BALANCE!

The Line (CBS): A Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agent balances his dangerous job with being a father to his newly un-estranged teenage daughter.
Starring: Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck).

Good Guys (Fox): A straight-laced young cop struggles to balance his desire to do things by the book when he’s paired with a drinking, womanizing partner.
Starring: Colin Hanks, Bradley Whitford.

The Rememberer (CBS): A female NYPD detective in the New York Police Department balances her talent for never forgetting anything with the fact that that’s a really irritating quality to ask friends to put up with.
Starring: No cast yet.

Who Likes Cop Shows? You’d Better