If all the evidence mounting against Lady Gaga having a penis (this picture, her video for “Telephone,” etc.) still hasn’t convinced you, the Times of London has a story for you. The paper sent a writer out with Ms. Gaga and the two of them went to a sex club in Berlin (naturally). This is where that journalist obtained the answer to one of modern music’s most vexing questions:
“A minute later, Gaga springs up, and beckons for me to follow her. Weaving her way down a series of corridors, we eventually end in — the VIP toilet.
“You’re wearing a jumpsuit,” Gaga says, with feminine solidarity. “You can’t get out of one of those in the normal toilets.”
As I start to arduously unzip, Gaga sits on the toilet with a cheerful, “I’m just going to pee through my fishnets!”, and offloads some of those whiskies.
For the first year of her career, massive internet rumours claimed that Gaga was, in fact, a man — a rumour so strong that Oprah had to question her about it, when Gaga appeared on her show.
Perhaps uniquely among all the journalists in the world, I can now factually confirm that Lady Gaga does not have a penis. That rumour can, conclusively, die.”
There you have it. Not only does Lady Gaga not have male parts, but she doesn’t use toilet-seat covers.