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Being the Head of a Human Centipede Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be, Says Disappointed Actor

“I thought, yo man, that’s going to be awesome to have some hot chick attached to my ass. But because it’s a horror film setting, it was kind of a scary feeling, actually.” —Human Centipede star Akihiro Kitamura [24XPS]

“I’ve known Gary for years. He was always very nice to me, but he was tough to get along with. … He was so pissed off. He was a sweet guy, but he hated being asked to repeat ‘Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis?’ … He didn’t want to live in the past.” —Ron Jeremy on Gary Coleman [Us Weekly]

“Marmaduke is like a teenager who can’t get it together. Growing up, I was the kid who was always getting into trouble. I liked not studying and goofing off. I used to roar around Dallas one step ahead of the law like I was in the Dukes of Hazzard. That all came to an end when my parents sent me to military school. I’m driving a Prius now, so it’s hard to go really fast.” —Owen Wilson on Marmaduke [Parade]

“Twitter fucks me over every day of my life. Because people go, ‘I’m sitting next to Kristen Stewart right now’ and then they show up. I see people on their phones and I just want to take these cookies and throw them. It’s like ‘Get off your fucking phone and get a life!’ I get so mad. It’s like you’re trampling on someone’s life without any regard. And it’s rampant. Everyone can do it now. Buy a camera and you’re paparazzi; get a Twitter account and you’re an informant. It’s so annoying.” —Kristen Stewart [Flaunt via Gossip Center]

“I’m sorry he has to go but sometimes things happen. Provided my health holds up, I think I’m taking that chair next year!” —Bret Michaels on replacing Simon Cowell on American Idol [Extra via TV]

“I leave [acting] to younger actors now. I’m not a prize fighter who has to capture another victory. Since I worked as a director for the first time on Play Misty for Me in 1970 I’ve become tired of seeing myself on the big screen.” —Clint Eastwood [Showbiz Spy]

“My new album that I’m creating, that is finished pretty much, was written with this new instinctual energy. My fans protect me, it’s now my destiny to protect them. At this moment, I don’t want to do any collaborations, especially contemporary ones. I want to stand on my own two feet. This new album is my chance to create what in 20 years will be seen as my iconic moment.” —Lady Gaga [Show Studio via Prophet Blog]

“I never lived the life of ‘Oh, you’re so good-looking.’ People thought I was a girl when I was little, because I looked like a girl — maybe because my mother would keep my hair really long in a bowl cut. … [But as shooting The A-Team] progressed, I got in increasingly better shape. There’s this one fight scene with Liam Neeson toward the end, where it’s, like, the apex of the work … I swear to God, it looked like my head was digitally superimposed onto someone else’s body. I was like, ‘This cannot be me — that’s the way I look?’ … ‘Cause as a kid I only fantasized about looking that way. Remember Soloflex commercials? That was huge when I was a kid. It was like, ‘I wanna be the Soloflex guy. Mom, can we get the Soloflex?’” —Bradley Cooper [Details]

Being the Head of a Human Centipede Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be, Says Disappointed Actor