In the sci-horror film Splice, scientists Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody make the mistake of screwing with the genome. This rarely goes well. The pair mix human and animal DNA until they’ve created Dren, a rapidly aging, humanoid creature with flawless skin and wide-set eyes. (David Edelstein has more to say on Dren, and the film, here.) Of course, Dren is just the latest baby with a mashed-up genetic profile: In the movies, human DNA has been mixed with everything from aliens to vampires, zombies, the devil, and more. Take a look at the creepiest of Dren’s predecessors, in all their gooey, horrifying glory, in this slideshow.
Crossbreed: Devil x Human
Poor Rosemary! After getting raped by the devil in the Dakota, she gives birth to a monster. Though we never get a clear view of him, he seems to have his father’s horrifying devil eyes.
Crossbreed: Zombie x Human
So, we’re not 100 percent positive the tot in Zack Snyder’s remake of George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead was born a zombie; it’s possible it was born human and became a zombie. Either way, it is a screaming, mewling infant hungry for brains! The heroes of this movie know this, and kill it instantly.
Crossbreed: The Fly x Human
This is a dream sequence, and thank God. When Geena Davis’s character finds out she’s been impregnated by Jeff Goldblum’s the Fly, she has a nightmare about giving birth to a giant maggot. Thank director David Cronenberg, who also plays the obstetrician in this scene, for coming up with the most disturbing infant on this list.
Crossbreed: Satan x Human
Isn’t it funny how genetics work? Sometimes the devil does it with a human and you get a being like Rosemary’s baby. Sometimes the devil does it with a human and you get this, the kid from Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ, whom Mel himself described as “a 40-year-old ‘baby’ with hair on his back.”
Crossbreed: Animal-Human x Animal-Human
The ill-fated 1996 adaptation of H.G. Wells’s novel stars Marlon Brando as a mad scientist who has found a way to mix animal and human DNA. One of his humanoid creatures, a female with a freakier-than-usual pregnant belly, begets another humanoid creature.
Crossbreed: Cartoon Baby x Old Man
When he’s on the job, Baby Herman looks and behaves just like a sweet little guy, but when the cameras stop rolling he reveals his true identity: a disgruntled, grown man trapped inside a tot’s body, which really is a terrible fate.
Crossbreed: Alien x Human
In V: The Final Battle, the 1984 follow-up to the original 1983 miniseries, Robin gives birth to twins. The first seems to be a normal baby girl — until she flicks out her forked tongue. It gets worse from there. Her second baby is the awesome lizard-boy puppet to your left. Aw, he’s kind of cute!
Crossbreed: Cylon x Human
Okay, okay, this one doesn’t look creepy. But the child of Helo and the cylon Athena has some strange extra-special abilities, like blood that heals people with cancer and an intrinsic knowledge of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower.” Also [spoiler alert], she is the ancestor of every single person on the planet Earth, so be thankful she is not ugly.
Crossbreed: Alien x Human
Two-hundred years after the end of Aliens 3, the U.S. military has the bright idea of cloning Ripley, so they can get an Alien Queen out of her. Obviously, these soldiers have never seen any of the Alien movies, or they would know what a dreadful idea this is. Instead, they try a bunch of failed human-alien experiments, the results of which you can see here.
Crossbreed: Vampire x Human
When Bella and Edward finally do the nasty in the fourth Twilight book (soon to be movie!), Breaking Dawn, Bella gets pregnant with a superstrong half-vampire. The fetus breaks Bella’s ribs while in utero, and then, during birth, snaps her spine. Ultimately, Edward has to cut Bella’s tummy open and break the amniotic sac with his teeth to bring out little half-vamp Renesmee, a creature you could build a whole other movie franchise around, into the world.